specters
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- Parts 45
A collection of poetry ranging from depression, mental illness, eating disorders, finding love and other topics.
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Submerged Stories
Long story short, this is a book of stories about my life that I don't tell anyone else, expressed through the beautiful art of poetry. Poetry is my way of finding myself, and hopefully you as readers will be able to find yourself as well. TRIGGER WARNING: These poems cover sensitive topics such as depression, self-harm, anxiety, suicide, eating disorders, etc. Please don't read if any of these could trigger you. WARNING: These poems may occasionally include violence and/or strong language. Read at your own risk. Note: All poems are written in free verse. Cover made by @pen-in-handComplete
Starving For Help
"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.Complete
Long Way Home
Part 2 of the "Contemplative Compositions" series. After "Things to Think About" but you can read them in any order! Happy reading! FanTABULOUS cover by: @silentlaughterComplete
4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my pain into strength. Desperately wanting to carve up my skin, I bled on a page. My screams are silent, hidden behind closed doors, And computer screens. All these horrible emotions kept secret in notebooks. I'm too afraid to speak about it, so I write it down That's how my poetry is made. ~The birth of poetry -Me ____ First place in 2021 Irenic Awards poetry catergory Highest rankings: #16 original work #2 relapsingComplete
Yours Truly, Mooncalf
This is a personal documentation through poetry. I am learning to look inward now, give myself love when I least want to. I do not live to love others, I live to love myself. I will find and create what is enough for me, and you will learn to let it be enough for you. 2022Complete
Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed)
When you're stuck inside a layer of skin you never asked for, what does the soul do? It cries out in poems and pictures, and words that have so much meaning to anyone if they look hard enough. It winces in pain every time the pen hits the paper and shouts in agony every time the mirror is reflected upon a burning face. This is a collection of me. My eating disorder, my depression, anxiety, my thoughts, my words, my pain. If you've ever wondered what it was like inside the mind of an anorexic, a bulimic, a chronically depressed woman, here is the answer. A memoir written by me. There is no specific order you should read this book. Choose a random chapter from the table of contents, and read. Take a little in, leave a little out. ****** There is a major trigger warning for almost every story in here. If you are sensitive to numbers, or ideas or anything of this matter, this book may not be for you.Complete
Petals full of thought
All my thoughts in jumbled up words, scrambled and mixed stanzas, Slightly dusted in deep mindful thinking that keeps me up at 4 am watching the sun rise Trigger warning some have to do with Depression,Self harm, eating disorders,and the Dark truths that lie beyond the silver lining of a smile and what those around you show and keep insideComplete
Dear Ana,
"I fell into darkness but I didn't mind, I liked it." Amy Adams thought everything was alright, but when she heard her very best friend Rose committed suicide, her world turned upside down. Amy couldn't understand, why? But Amy found Rose's diary at her wake and everything became clear. Rose was anorexic. Rose wrote about her two guardians Ana and Mia, they helped her, or something. Amy didn't understand a thing, but not for long. Because Amy would also meet her fate with the two angels of death. Just like Rose. Amy has a hard time fitting in after her only connection to a social life left her alone. Amy get's lost and tries to save herself. But how can you pull yourself out of a hole where you can't see the edge? Amy does make new friends and she even falls in love but everything is on the verge of falling apart. How does she plan on keeping her 'new habit' a secret? and when will Amy really understand?Complete
Nobody Was Meant to See
[Trigger Warning, please be safe when reading] They aren't supposed to know. They aren't meant to read these poems that I'm writing. I've concealed them for a reason. -Shitty poems about how I feel-Complete
Can I Say Goodbye?
I'm always searching for something worth staying for but I can't seem to find that until then please don't mind me because I'm just a traveler passing through. When I'm not satisfied or happy I'll leave and find a new path, so just let me say goodbye... Can I say goodbye? I wrote till my hands bruised and heart bled. I wrote and wrote in hopes that some day, somebody will understand my words and all the things I wish I could say... Each poem is a story. My story. Some are fictional but most of them are true. I know you're curious. From painful heart breaks to high school stories. A person dealing with mental illnesses, fears and abuse. Won't you like to know about the drama?Complete
Long story short, this is a book of stories about my life that I don't tell anyone else, expressed through the beautiful art of poetry. Poetry is my way of finding myself, and hopefully you as readers will be able to find yourself as well. TRIGGER WARNING: These poems cover sensitive topics such as depression, self-harm, anxiety, suicide, eating disorders, etc. Please don't read if any of these could trigger you. WARNING: These poems may occasionally include violence and/or strong language. Read at your own risk. Note: All poems are written in free verse. Cover made by @pen-in-hand
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