D I A R Y
- Odsłon 14
- Głosy 2
- Części 4
W trakcie9m
Ostatnia publikacja pt., lis 15, 2024
Creating a diary is something I don't want to do, because i feel im writing this like im bidding a goodbye.
It hurts how i live with what if and regrets then repeat the cycle, its frustrating and exhausting.
It all started when i get to introduce to the korean drama and wattpad world, where everything feels surreal. I isolated my self and escape reality not knowing that, i might prolonged my life and it did.
I drop out off school because of the reasons that i got ashamed by my teacher infront of the class.
Maybe partly my fault because im attending school every other day but does she have to do that?
Being a person with low self esteem i cant take that. I can't help but to ponder and i ask myself, if she have a problem with me that day, i hope she should've just talk to me privately.
Or im just too sensitive?
I remember when my not so close kuya ran ask me if im really going to stop going to school, he offer me to raise my baon or ihatid niya ako sa school but despite his perseverance to push me not to, i did.
Thinking about it now made my eyes teary... and what if's started to run in my heads again.
What if i listen to them? For sure my life would've been different.
What if i got a motivation, i got drive and i know what i want to be back then? For sure im not where i am right now.
Regrets start kicking in like a tick of a clock when it reaches its time.
Im not writing this because i wanted to earn readers or views, i wanted to write this because i want you to know what my story is....
Im Ariesa Luna Enitsirk, who loves nature, moon and everything we see in the sky. 23 senior high grad, doesn't have a job which im not proud off and still doing nothing but writing and reading...
And this is my life.
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In this world, 'unconfessed love' are more than the 'unrequited love' or 'the breakups'. In a bond between two people, each assume, what and how the other person stands in their life. But 'what am I in your life?" is the question that always be in their mind. 'Am I in your dreams, Am I in your thoughts, Am I being missed?', those questions to which we wanted to hear the (desired) answers but are scared of asking. Most importantly, we wish to know, 'Do those questions pop in your head TOO?' Because more than, 'I miss you', we always wonder about, 'Do you miss me like I do?' If those questions are in your head, then you're in a 'some relationship'. The relationship where you will find yourself hoping that it will get somewhere, and you'll end up in always hoping rather than realizing your destination. To fall in love with a person, age didn't set any restriction. To understand what love is, age and level of understanding played as barricades. Those barricades streamlined the traffic of emotions into nervousness, shyness and palpitations. It told her to run whenever he enters into her peripheral vision. 'Looking, yet not looking', became her way of high school life. Avoid him. Don't let him see you. Don't show him your emotions. Don't let him know anything about you! She lived abiding those warning signs. She met him again after many years and realized, those signs, had turned into her regrets. Is it any way possible that he can share her regrets? Will the beautiful memories become bitter? Won't their distance ever vanish? Will the yearnings of the heart, tear them apart? Won't the past ever return? Will their heart forever live like that? P.S: This story is inspired by movies that made me cry. So the credit goes to those movies!Zakończone
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Nineteen - Twenty Seven || JJK || ✔️ [EDITED ✔️]
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𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐈 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 | 18+
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In this world, 'unconfessed love' are more than the 'unrequited love' or 'the breakups'. In a bond between two people, each assume, what and how the other person stands in their life. But 'what am I in your life?" is the question that always be in their mind. 'Am I in your dreams, Am I in your thoughts, Am I being missed?', those questions to which we wanted to hear the (desired) answers but are scared of asking. Most importantly, we wish to know, 'Do those questions pop in your head TOO?' Because more than, 'I miss you', we always wonder about, 'Do you miss me like I do?' If those questions are in your head, then you're in a 'some relationship'. The relationship where you will find yourself hoping that it will get somewhere, and you'll end up in always hoping rather than realizing your destination. To fall in love with a person, age didn't set any restriction. To understand what love is, age and level of understanding played as barricades. Those barricades streamlined the traffic of emotions into nervousness, shyness and palpitations. It told her to run whenever he enters into her peripheral vision. 'Looking, yet not looking', became her way of high school life. Avoid him. Don't let him see you. Don't show him your emotions. Don't let him know anything about you! She lived abiding those warning signs. She met him again after many years and realized, those signs, had turned into her regrets. Is it any way possible that he can share her regrets? Will the beautiful memories become bitter? Won't their distance ever vanish? Will the yearnings of the heart, tear them apart? Won't the past ever return? Will their heart forever live like that? P.S: This story is inspired by movies that made me cry. So the credit goes to those movies!
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