D I A R Y

Creating a diary is something I don't want to do, because i feel im writing this like im bidding a goodbye.

It hurts how i live with what if and regrets then repeat the cycle, its frustrating and exhausting.

It all started when i get to introduce to the korean drama and wattpad world, where everything feels surreal. I isolated my self and escape reality not knowing that, i might prolonged my life and it did.

I drop out off school because of the reasons that i got ashamed by my teacher infront of the class.
Maybe partly my fault because im attending school every other day but does she have to do that?

Being a person with low self esteem i cant take that. I can't help but to ponder and i ask myself, if she have a problem with me that day, i hope she should've just talk to me privately.

Or im just too sensitive?

I remember when my not so close kuya ran ask me if im really going to stop going to school, he offer me to raise my baon or ihatid niya ako sa school but despite his perseverance to push me not to, i did.

Thinking about it now made my eyes teary... and what if's started to run in my heads again.

What if i listen to them? For sure my life would've been different.

What if i got a motivation, i got drive and i know what i want to be back then? For sure im not where i am right now.

Regrets start kicking in like a tick of a clock when it reaches its time.

Im not writing this because i wanted to earn readers or views, i wanted to write this because i want you to know what my story is....

Im Ariesa Luna Enitsirk, who loves nature, moon and everything we see in the sky. 23 senior high grad, doesn't have a job which im not proud off and still doing nothing but writing and reading...

And this is my life.