I was standing on the edge, ready to end it all, when he appeared-pulling me back from the darkness. What I thought would be just a fleeting, reckless one-night stand with him turned into something I never expected. It wasn't just passion; it was real. I told myself I wouldn't fall for him, that he was just a distraction, but my heart had other plans.
I thought he'd be someone to satisfy my desires, to fill the emptiness inside me, but instead, he became someone who made me feel everything-desire, vulnerability, and, sometimes, even pain.
I fell for him, completely and irrevocably. I wanted him to be mine, but then I learned the truth. He wasn't just my savior, my desire-he was someone else's father.
It should have been enough to stop me, to make me walk away. But instead, I'm drawn to him like a moth to a flame, helpless and obsessed.
I know this can't end well, but how do you turn away from the one who gave you a reason to live? Even if loving him is a storm waiting to happen, I can't stop myself from diving in even with all the pain, I can't walk away and I can't let him go, even if the world doesn't understand. What we have is real, and I won't let anyone take that from me.
I think there is no love story in any of the novels. They are just all kinds of sad, happy and sadistic stories.
I think we fell too fast, and the scattered rubble fell with us, like the stars in the sky fell like raindrops...
It's hard to explain, what kind of theory is this?
Am I very selfish?
Human nature is selfish.
Is it scary?
However, it is more than just being scary and harbouring selfishness.
"All suffering arises from desire"
Aaheli thought... she always thought that! She had desired to live, but now she felt the opposite desire inside her, as inseparable as her breath. She knew that she would suffer from it, but she couldn't even begin to imagine the magnitude of the suffering required to achieve greatness in the chaotic, violent world outside. All she wanted now was to die. She remembered the philosopher Yang Zhu's belief that death should be neither feared nor revered, and funeral ceremonies were of no worth to the deceased. Perhaps death was the only way to escape the suffering caused by desire.
And in the end , the desire was granted as a wish; maybe as a compensation.