Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Preview) - Oli Jacobs - Wattpad

Story cover for Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Preview) by OliJacobs

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Preview)

Reads 25
Votes 1
Parts 8
Time 1h 13m

Reads 25
Votes 1
Parts 8
Time 1h 13m

adventure comedy humour parody sci-fi space

When it comes to adventure, there are many names that you could mention. However, when you're talking adventure and a penchant for having sandwiches during said venture, then there's only one name out there.

OK, there's probably still plenty of other names out there, but only one is spelt K-I-R-K S-A-N-D-B-L-A-S-T-E-R.

That's right! Kirk Sandblaster, rogue of the Quadrants, ex-member of the Galactic Army Force, and all round pain in the Universia buttocks. The bequiffed Human from planet Earth rides along the galaxy in his rusted ship, The Bounty, and is looking for the kind of treasure that makes beings teeth fall out. In excitement, that is. It's not THAT kind of treasure...

Along the way, he recruits a hulking Zaarian named Xlaar, whose powersuited body and battle-savvy makes him an invaluable asset to a man who prefers to sit back and spout one-liners. Follow them both as they source treasure maps, get foxed by sneaky Brellian bandits, and chased by dastardly Ghurian pirates.

Will they find the treasure they're looking for? Will The Bounty stand firm against the rigours of the asteroid-like Haken Belt? And will Xlaar resist punching Sandblaster firmly in his square jaw? Find out, as you jump on board with...

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer!All Rights Reserved

adventure comedy humour parody sci-fi space

Table of contents

8 parts

Sign up to add Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Preview) to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Dipshits in Space: Seasoru 7 by AdrianOzryth

Ugh, you again. Takes a lot to offend you doesn't it? Well guess who's back, back again and with an anime cover this time. It's the Dipshits, but this time it's a brand new ship, a brand new additional crew tacked on to the lovable turds you know and love. A smoking hot tazer, a redneck, A generic bald-headed bumpy-skulled alien, and more! Shaggtastic spies, a holiday special, game shows, an ugly breakup, salads, Jerry-pipes (whatever the crap those are!), Egyptian gods, old friends, and 3 weirdos that are totally just vampires. The plan-D or E list of adventures is sure to entertain, assuming you have low enough standards. given that you're 7 seasons in...you probably do. We both know it. Roll that beautiful bean footage, and get the Wagon Groovin. It's space, and there's always dipshits in it.

An Alien Love: Sex And Space (Book 1) by Clanmoore

Murry was never really into anything... especially aliens or outer space. Since he is nonverbal and, on the spectrum, no one understands him anyway. So what's the point? After years of living the same way, he had made peace with his life of silence in a group home. But in the blink of an eye, all that changes when he is captured by aliens. Now, lost and wishing to go back to Earth, he clings to his savior. Keltrixtionlenz. Too bad he can't pronounce this creature's name. On his mission to find his missing sibling, Keltrix stumbles across a human. Breaking all the rules, Keltrix brings the alien back to his ship, heals him, and then begins a relationship. He didn't plan any of the things that happen next. By the time Keltrix is faced with Murry's execution, he realizes he loves the strange little being more than his own life. Too bad it's too late. Maybe, just maybe, he can convince his family that love is beyond sex and space.

A Spaceman by kullman

Aliens? Check. Space soldiers? Check. Murder? Check. Life is never boring in the Cygenus galexy. Set thousands of years in the future, A Spaceman, follows the escapades of a traitor to the human race throughout his lifetime from training as a Space Cadet to ultimately attempting to rule humanity. Aligned with the alien forces, the traitor seeks to rule the humans and aliens and destroy the people he once despised, but he may ultimately destroy himself. Violent good fun , this dark comedy pulls no punches with rotating stream of conscious narrative involving a few moral characters (some of whom actually make it out of it alive). Ultimately, we know the traitor must fall and good must win out, but in the end, do we really want it to? Amoral and highly intelligent the traitor flouts the forces of good and outsmarts the human forces as they gradually inch closer to capturing him, all the while letting the reader in on the fun of unadulterated evil. An addictive guilty pleasure, A Spaceman is an unforgettable ride with a surprise ending. NOTE: If you are offended my same-sex relationships or murder please go elseware.

Azur Lane: Carrier from Stars Beyond (Starblazer x Azur Lane) by KarlianMauser

[Note, the humanity where Main character comes from is not Earth, but entirely fiction] Stars A galaxy full of wonders and secrets waiting to be discovered by explorers When humanity reaches for the stars Leaving the warmth of their Home, Asteria It started a new age of exploration for humanity exploring When humanity discovered other habitable planets and found life It started the age of Colonization as one colony turned to hundreds Colonies then grow as more people turn outwards from Asteria to settle these new planets Colonies then turns to cities that support more and more citizens as new industry were established Soon however, governments begins to form in the colonies declaring independent from their old homes This prompts the homeworld government, Mauser Galactic Empire, to suppress them with brutal force which then triggers a war that would devastate not only the colonies but their homeworld of humanity. There was a fleet led by the named carrier after the first founder of the empire, MGS Karliana Mauser, but facing overwhelming forces by the colonies. It ultimately led to a devastating defeat which leads to the devastation of Asteria by the colonies. The mistake was soon realized by the colonies who wept seeing their homeworld origin devastated by their own hands. This war had cost many lives and ships, such is the fate of MGS Karliana Mauser, the ship that is now a floating wreck in space. Starblazer x Azur Lane are owned by their respective owners

Forever Fighting | ✔️ | [previously Espionage: double-cross] by WinterWillow901

Guns, revenge and buildings to bomb, what could go wrong? ✮ He came in, gun held out in front of him in one hand while the other was resting on his hip where a sharp dagger gleamed in the light. "Come on out little girl, why not make this easier for both of us. The agency you ran away from just want to have a little talk, that's all." She scoffed internally. Yeah right. Then the footsteps ceased. She peeked to the right, then to the left. Neither direction showed any sign of the intruder. She looked up in front of her and gasped, the glint of steel and smell of death as overwhelming as it was adrenaline inducing, exciting. "Boo." ✮ Murder, accidents, assassinations. Call it what you will, it's all the same, all has the same life breaking, mind shattering consequences - be it for the victim or the bystander. It had shaped Alex in a way no one should be. Broken down and rebuilt into the perfect soldier, one who had the power to change the world, to fight battles that would either make or break the carefully constructed vision we all live in. The only small, minute, really unimportant detail - it's pretty hard to get into a government classified site when you're 15 years old and have a rag-tag team of double-crossing back-stabbers behind you. Not to mention the threat of a world war and ghost hanging above your head. Armed with sarcasm, wit, and a hell of a lot of aggressive intentions, it won't be too long till a sticky situation is all that's ahead of you. Sometimes, running head-first into a situation isn't the best idea. Instead, you gotta play a game. A deadly game where either you have all the pieces on the board, or you have nothing. [previously known as Espionage: double-cross] Thanks for reading :)

Hard Edges || Mandalorian X Reader by miss_arkhee

"Razor Crest, hey? Didn't know any of these still flew" you joke, trying to ease the mounting tension in the air. The visor just stares back at you, silent and unwavering. Okay, not much for jokes... You walk up the ramp into the cargo hold, trying to ignore the wave of pressure as he stalks your every step. Stars, its almost predatory the way someone that size, in that much armor, manages to move so silently. A fact that should (and does) strike fear into your gut, but your cheeks blush with the equal amount of something else alongside it.... *18+, rough sex, mature content* Does not follow canon events.

The Adventures Of That Particular Group: Start Of Their Adventure (#Wattys2016) by OfficialTPG

Imagine if you had the power of the stars in your hands and the existence of a neighbouring planet depended entirely on you and your team. . . There were four people who had powers beyond imagination. One had weaponry, one had memory, another had teleportation and the last had gatherance. It might be hard to believe, but those four were set on a journey to save a neighbouring planet. The journey might change their fate and turn things around. Would they be able to make it, or would they lose everything that they once had? What discoveries would they make, and what would they have to do with them? What would the path that they will choose be, to give up or continue? Will their lives ever be back to normal? The fate of another planet depends on this group... So read on to find out! The sequel of this story is out. If you vote for our story it would mean the world to us :-) Special thanks to our classmate who is now helping us edit grammar and provided the Corean quiz and everyone else who helped to do a part. Note: You may find some parts of the story confusing and theoretically impossible. But this is a fictional world so please understand. Thank you! The story had been recently refurbished so that it will look more organised and has the pictures now. We will start Phase 2 of our renovation process, which will edit the grammar so our story will be wonderful. Stay tuned and vote for us! Thank you fans of The Adventures Of That Particular Group! Cover made by @TheScarlettWolf (YiChen) 2000 views on 9 Aug 2016 P.S Vote us for Wattys! Type our story name then write #MyWattysChoice.

Fantasy Realm [One Piece] [Harry Potter] [Naruto] - [Progression] [LitRPG] by FR-Writer

Update: DUE TO THE 200 CHAPTER LIMIT ON WATTPAD - HERE IS THE LINK TO THE SECOND PART: Link: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/390678643-fantasy-realm-part-2-one-piece-harry-potter-naruto-litrpg Watch the biggest loser you can imagine transform into the ultimate badass! I'm aiming for 1,000 chapters by the end of next year! Join me on this journey! Meet Alex, a 28-year-old loser and internet troll who spent his life glued to his PC, binging anime, games, and movies. His story comes to an abrupt end... or so he thinks. Instead of a peaceful afterlife, Alex wakes up in the Fantasy Realm, a chaotic universe where different fictional worlds collide, and survival is anything but guaranteed. Armed with nothing but his sharp wit and a frustrating OCD skill that forces him to evenly spread his stats, Alex must figure out how to navigate these dangerous worlds. If he fails? Well, let's just say death here means no respawns, permanently. This fanfiction is inspired by works like Terror Infinity, Reincarnation Paradise, and The Ultimate Evolution. The protagonist will journey through various fictional worlds, gradually gaining strength along the way. The first world is One Piece, with future possibilities including Hunter x Hunter, Naruto, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Stargate, DC, Marvel, Mass Effect, Final Fantasy and World of Warcraft. Confirmed arcs: Naruto, Harry Potter, HxH, Star Wars, Mass effect Always thankful for comments and suggestions! Thank you for reading! If you are interested, then please support me on Patreon Link: www.patreon.com/FRWriter 50+ Early chapters available right now. Thank you so much :) Join the Discord: https://discord.gg/puVqWsf3y9

Dipshits in Space: Season 3 by AdrianOzryth

They're back after a brief reboot, better than ever. When a self-aware alien Overlord from another Universe/book, (the Infamous "Greg") winds up nekkid as Eff, on his ship, Captain Lawg finds himself against his most powerful foe yet. The Osirian invasion has begun, as various brown substances, hits various fans, and the crew struggles to decide if the new conquerors are on their side, or plotting their doom. Either way, the Osirians are here to stay...for at least 8 more seasons, probably longer. Adventure waits in the form of gender bending, increased vulgarity, more ball jokes, and some light cannibalism, maybe? Find out for yourself as the Dipshits venture onward, as usual, into SPACE. Unlock 4th wall breaking, confusing clone-conundrums, and the new use of the F-word! WOW. Much R-rating! Very Spoof! I need a beverage, Cue the cheesy inspirational montage!!

You may also like

Slide 1 of 9

Dipshits in Space: Seasoru 7 cover

An Alien Love: Sex And Space (Book 1) cover

A Spaceman cover

Azur Lane: Carrier from Stars Beyond (Starblazer x Azur Lane) cover

Forever Fighting | ✔️ | [previously Espionage: double-cross] cover

Hard Edges || Mandalorian X Reader cover

The Adventures Of That Particular Group: Start Of Their Adventure (#Wattys2016) cover

Fantasy Realm [One Piece] [Harry Potter] [Naruto] - [Progression] [LitRPG] cover

Dipshits in Space: Season 3 cover

Dipshits in Space: Seasoru 7

Ugh, you again. Takes a lot to offend you doesn't it? Well guess who's back, back again and with an anime cover this time. It's the Dipshits, but this time it's a brand new ship, a brand new additional crew tacked on to the lovable turds you know and love. A smoking hot tazer, a redneck, A generic bald-headed bumpy-skulled alien, and more! Shaggtastic spies, a holiday special, game shows, an ugly breakup, salads, Jerry-pipes (whatever the crap those are!), Egyptian gods, old friends, and 3 weirdos that are totally just vampires. The plan-D or E list of adventures is sure to entertain, assuming you have low enough standards. given that you're 7 seasons in...you probably do. We both know it. Roll that beautiful bean footage, and get the Wagon Groovin. It's space, and there's always dipshits in it.