Let Them Eat Burgers (Book 1)
- Reads 181
- Votes 30
- Parts 12
Complete Tue, Dec 10, 20244h 7m
Ben is an anxious wreck with the personality of a used tissue, and he knows it. That's why he prefers to keep the girl of his dreams - the alluring and enigmatic ticket inspector who checks his rail pass each day - at a safe distance, to avoid ruining their incredible imaginary relationship.
Disaster strikes when she breaks the routine of their mundane interaction to criticise his choice of reading material, setting off a catastrophic chain of events that leads to Ben harbouring the fugitive leader of a rogue totalitarian state inside his tiny, mid-terrace house. As tensions simmer and relationships fray at home, at work and everywhere in between, can Ben hold his life and sanity together while the chaotic whims of fate threaten to tear him apart?
All Rights Reserved
#400
introvert
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
One-Shot: "Refrigerator in Another World"
After a fatal accident, our protagonist is reincarnated into a magical world as a sentient refrigerator with the extraordinary power to supply unlimited fresh food and drinks. Placed in a bustling adventurers' tavern, they quickly gain fame as the "Infinite Fridge," helping heroes and travelers replenish their energy before quests. But when a group of adventurers embarks on a mission to defeat the Demon Lord, the refrigerator discovers they can unlock "Portable Mode" and join the adventure. From healing potions to battle snacks, this unusual hero proves that even a fridge can change the world. (A story inspired by "I Got Reincarnated as a Vending Machine")Complete
Mad Dog and The Englishman
Do you want biting political and cultural satire which cleverly and expertly sends up the idea of national and cultural stereotypes of our times and exposes the raw fetidness of our global iconographic zeitgeist? Well tough! There now follows a very very serious disclaimer that you will ignore at your peril ... i really mean it! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK: SCOTS, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, UNEMPLOYED DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR. IF YOU BELONG TO THE FOLLOWING PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSE: ITALIANS. What are the Ethereals? Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth. WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.Complete
Danny Sousa: The Adventures of a Man-Child
Follow the adventures of Danny Sousa, a confident, impulsive, and street-wise New Yorker. Unsure of what he wants to do in life, Danny heads to China to teach English, hoping to make some money, have a good time, and pull some hot Chinese girls. What he finds instead is a top-secret plan spearheaded by the Chinese Communist Party, leading to an unexpected friendship with Donald Trump and a series of adventures. From FBI missions to Hollywood stardom, Danny's quest for money, women, and independence repeatedly lands him back at his mum's small apartment. Through his highs and lows, Danny learns that true success lies in something different.Complete
Junk Mail
Ben Hughes, a 22 year-old failure, has never known success. He's heard of it and he's dreamt of it, but it seems to have always slipped through his fingers. Taunted by his mother, and judged by the world, Ben decides to take matters into his own hands and finally gets a high-powered job as an unsolicited commercial e-mail director. As he discovers the meaning of his new title, and enters the busy world of spamming, Ben discovers himself and what it means to be successful.Complete
The Adventures Of Sir Whipsonfreak
"Even the days and nights must be jealous of your predictability." Sir Whipsonfreak had the most boring, yet safe life in the town of Bunsberry. But one day his grandson Richter complained about it and to prove him wrong Sir Whipson will do the unexpected: Take three days off for new doings and adventure. What does this senseless bet do to him and how do these misadventures end? Does he find relief from the monotony that his current life is? Read this black comedy, full of dark humor and satireComplete
Eli's Revolt
A philosophical, satirical, historical fiction taking place during the early stages of the American Revolution. This hysterical, absurd story takes place in Boston 1769, hostility between the American Colonies and Britain is heating up. Our main character is named Eli, a boot-maker's apprentice to the legendary boot-maker The Great Sir Mr. Finley Figgins The Third Sir. Eli is the normal average everyday Bostonian man. He goes to work everyday, has a girlfriend and some friends but finds himself a minority in Boston when it comes to America's push for independence. He actually enjoys the British. He loves their tea and food. He feels as if the streets are safer with British soldiers patrolling the streets. He does not want America to be independent from British rule. As America's push for independence seems to be a greater reality, Eli takes matters into his own hands. He infiltrates the Sons of Liberty, attempts to sabotage their plans constantly. Becomes arch enemies with Samuel Adams and much, much more absurdity occurs in this ridiculous satirical story loosely based on real historical facts. Battles, fighting, action, romance, adventure! And of course, lots of comedy and humor. I hope you enjoy! :) Gordon Ramsay said, "It's a Bloody good read!" Rebecca Black said, "It's even better than Friday!" Jeff Bezos said, "This is even better than anything I ever created!"Complete
The Amazing World Of Gumball Into The Multi-Verse
Gumball is transported into another Dimension more like an horrific wasteland. Where he see's another version of himself and everbody in a world where it is every man for himself. While trying to find his way back home he helps them stop Penny and her group of shapeshifters from taking over Elsmore.Complete
Love Me? Like You Do.
#3 on Featured list! "I need you to be my wife." he said lifting her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "But, we don't love each other." protested Brielle as he crashed his lips against her own. She couldn't think as she kissed him back, intoxicated by his scent and the skillful way his body moved against her own. "Please." he said huskily looking into her eyes. "Say yes." "Yes." Brielle found herself saying. After all she never had a choice when it came to him. *** After Brielle rushed an elderly man to the hospital, she used up all her savings to foot the bill. But she didn't expect the man's son to arrive, within minutes of her payment. He's rich, he's handsome and he's single. He's the biggest businessman in the continent. And the elderly man she rescued was his beloved father. A simple thank you and a cheque would not suffice. She's too simple for her own good and he's too good to be true. Read on to find out how a mismatched pair's lives intertwine. A big thank you to @CovermakerH for the amazing cover #Romance #Comedy #Fun #love #action #dramaComplete
After a fatal accident, our protagonist is reincarnated into a magical world as a sentient refrigerator with the extraordinary power to supply unlimited fresh food and drinks. Placed in a bustling adventurers' tavern, they quickly gain fame as the "Infinite Fridge," helping heroes and travelers replenish their energy before quests. But when a group of adventurers embarks on a mission to defeat the Demon Lord, the refrigerator discovers they can unlock "Portable Mode" and join the adventure. From healing potions to battle snacks, this unusual hero proves that even a fridge can change the world. (A story inspired by "I Got Reincarnated as a Vending Machine")
More detailsContent Guidelines