Echoes of Grief: A poetry collection during my depression

My relationship with my father was far from ideal. Growing up, I never received the love or attention I needed from him, which created an emotional distance between us. I felt lost, without the paternal guidance I longed for. Then, in 2020, during the midst of the pandemic, my father passed away from lung cancer, leaving a gaping hole in my heart. His death forced me to confront the childhood traumas I had buried for so long.

Six months later, in 2021, tragedy struck again. My closest cousin-who was like a sister to me, someone I grew up with-died on New Year's Eve. She was found cold and lifeless in a hotel bathtub, after celebrating with friends. No one knew what had happened. Autopsies later revealed an aortic aneurysm, but the shock and the uncertainty lingered. Her death, like my father's, left me shaken, and I wasn't prepared for the weight of such loss at the age of 25, especially while being in a foreign land, just starting my career. The pandemic made it impossible to return home, and I never got to say goodbye.

My mind struggled to comprehend the chaos unfolding around me, particularly my cousin's death, which became a national sensation and was plastered all over the news. It was overwhelming, and the grief was suffocating, pulling me into a deep depression.

Though depression often carries a negative connotation, it also became the source of something beautiful. In the midst of that misery, I found solace in writing poetry-a way to articulate my emotions and process my pain. From that dark place, I found a voice, and I've continued to write ever since.

I invite you to read my poems with an open heart, understanding that they come from a place of grief, pain, and loss. But in time, they also reflect hope, healing, and the quiet renewal that follows suffering.

If you are someone who has been on the same situation,
I hope you'll find healing and peace one day.

With love,
Leon Ranzy