A desire to not exist

"This world...it's better of without me"
The person who loved me the most has gone from my life, leaving me alone to my feelings of loneliness, guilt and sadness.
The torment is so bad, it made me question if she hates me so much too.
But nothing stays the same forever. Things will be okay someday. But I need my answers, even if it means to cross the boundaries of what is considered sane and insane, logical and superstitious
I don't remember you. But I will find you.
Sorry

*does not directly mention cases of self h**m or s*i*de, but if vehicle accidents and things related to death triggers you, this story is not for you. The story fouses on self growth and is meant to tell how greatly important one can be, even if they don't think so.