Chaotic Expression
- Reads 19
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- Parts 9
MatureOngoing14m
Last published Sun, Dec 15, 2024
These are my most inner thoughts so they won't be for everyone to read. We all go through things in life. Sometimes we share those things and other times we keep it all tucked away inside. I don't want to do that anymore. If I can get my thoughts out there maybe It'd help someone feel like they aren't alone in the struggles they endure. We all go through things in life and some of it is completely unfathomable. Just know that you are never alone. These are just a recollection of my feelings, emotions, happiness, pain, hurt, sadness, loss, etc in the form of poems. If anyone ever needs to talk my comments and DMs are always open. I might even put a page dedicated to giving you all a space to express yourselves freely.
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all the things I never got to tell you.
"I like that I can read this in a child like voice for the beginning and that it's descriptive yet secretive." "I have so many things to say, but I'll start with, this was amazing. You seriously depicted every emotional turn with such great detail and strength and it's simply amazing" "You never cease to amaze me." * All the things I wish I could say but life just got in the way. My hopes and dreams all taken, my life turned around, I got lost and I don't think I'll ever be found. This story is a series of letters to my sister Ashley, someone I never had the chance to meet. It will walk through when I was a child and found out I was getting a sister to when I got older and understood why she never came into this world. Through this story you will see how this one thing had such an impact on my life and made me the person I am today. This one moment is what got me into writing. I went from imagining who she'd be as a person to making my own characters and stories so that I could escape the real world. This is my story. This is Ashley's story. This is my life. Update: The book is complete. I have revised and edited and I don't feel that there is anything left I need to say. Thank you for the reads, make sure to vote comment and follow.Complete
Descent
Many things fall. Such as heros. All heros eventually fall. Some because of a villian. But America? No, this hero was falling to something else. Something worst. Something more painful. He was falling to those he thought we're his friends and family. ----------------------------------------------------------------- You would think that he was one of the happiest people you would ever know. But that's a lie. America- no- Alfred was hurting. He was taking one to many hits. The pain was getting out of control. Everything was spiraling downwards. And America was desending further into depression. Warning: Self harm, depression, anxiety, eating disorders. Adopted from @The-Schuyler-SistersComplete
Family Comes First
Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. ___ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! ____ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021Complete![A Hero By Any Other Name [OLD]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/343384248-256-k67531.jpg)
A Hero By Any Other Name [OLD]
[OLD. NEW VERSION OUT NOW.] One day, Alfred had mistakenly left his journal in the meeting room. He had left his stuff behind due to an emergency back at his home, and so; the remaining nations were appalled at finding something that he'd been writing in. And unfortunately, curiosity killed the cat. Many of the others began to read the pages, which led them all to realize that Alfred was a whole lot different than what they'd thought he'd be, for being the personification of the United States. Several twists and turns begin to crumble, as a hidden secret between Arthur, Matthew, and Alfred comes to light. While Matthew descends into mental chaos- the rest of the nations manage to take back the journal, only to find out some horrible secrets the American has about them. [Disclaimer: Hetalia does not belong to me, all rightful credits go to Hidekaz Himaruya (AKA: Hima)!] - - #1 in aphamerica - 06.22.23 #1 in romanovargas - 06.24.23 #2 in felicianovargas - 06.24.23 #2 in aphprussia - 06.29.23 #2 in aphrussia - 07.03.23 - - Started: 06.XX.2023 Ended: [DISCONTINUED] - 08.13.2023Complete
The Fake Smile He Wears
No Ships! i do be cringing at this very hard but I'll keep it up for y'all. note that the quality is very questionable and like most people i've reflected on the cringiness <3 The Ancients saw many of their children and grandchildren suffering alone, no one noticing the other's pain. The fake mask, the 'happy' countries wore. The secrets they all hid. The Ancients couldn't let this just happen, they came up with a plan. America was the unfortunate victim and test subject. America is the happy, joyful, always smiling, and loud country, but what if everything they know about him is a lie? A mask no one could see through. The mask no one tried to look through. There was a lot they didn't know about him. A lot he hid from them. A lot he kept inside his cracking heart. Secrets will be spilled, and skeletons will come out of the closet. Feelings kept inside for so long, will come out. The sides of America they never knew of will come out today. The mask will come off today. The mask that's been worn for so long. Will he be saved? What happened to America? Who is America really? How many lies have been told? How many hearts will be broken? Did they ever know America at all? How many friendships will be built, and how many destroyed? How long has America deceived them all? How will they see America now? Will America come out of this better or worse? Was doing all of this right? Only time will tell. WARNING⚠️⚠️⚠️: Mentions of suicide, eating disorders, self harm, other mental disorders, and depression. If you are suffering from any of these things please get help. I know someone out there cares for you, if you can't find someone who cares for you, I do, so please get help. Don't ever do any of this stuff. If you don't like this stuff or if it bothers you please don't read it, if not continue, you have been warned. Some stuff may be really inaccurate and I don't mean to offend anyone. Best rank Alfred Jones #1 Cover picture isn't mine, please don't sUe mEComplete
how am i? (1)
This is a daily updated journal/diary thing that started in January of 2018 and has not ended yet. There will be a part two to this book, because I've found writing in this book so relaxing and helpful when it comes to my mental health. • • • Sometimes I feel trapped. Like I can't tell people how I truly feel because they won't understand. This book is more for me than it is anyone else. I hope you get enjoyment out of it, but honestly, it's an outlet for me to express myself. I'm done keeping my emotions trapped inside myself. I'm truly done with that. If you want to read my emotions and my day to day life, go ahead. If your easily offended by my opinions I would suggest not reading this, because it's practically made for my opinions to be shared. If you hate me, read at your own risk, because this is me being my true self. Some things might not be good to read for those who are struggling with mental illnesses because I do describe my own experience with mental illness and describe horrible thoughts, so it might trigger you. If you ever need someone to talk to just dm me. Thanks for reading <3Complete
Broken mind (Under heavy editing!)
I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-Complete
The Actor
Is the clown the fool of the story, or are you? After all, the clown knows it's an act, but the audience is so lost in it that they tend to forget. Alfred had lived a long life. He'd learned a lot in it. That England was easy to gaslight if you knew what you were doing. France would back away from any show of force. Germany could ignore a bumbling idiot even as the evidence piled up just because he wasn't very good with people. Poland saw everything and read people like a book. Prussia would keep his mouth shut if you gave him enough liquor or made him obedient. Russia would turn a blind eye if you turned one to him. China never trusted anyone even if there was evidence of the contrary. His mother's revenge would play out, and it would make him the happiest man in the world. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hetalia:Axis Powers. No ships in this book! If there is it's in the past! Mostly sibling bonding. America can shapeshift and is non-binary (he/him female titles).Complete
Roadtrip?! Hetalia x Reader
WATTYS 2019 COMPLETED BOOK 1 *Tries to think cool quote from the book* 》"Yeah it really is beautiful" He said. "And now you are supposed to say some cheesy pick-up line" You advised. He chuckled and thought for a moment. "But not as beautiful as you.. Is that cringe enough?"《 (Nailed it) (Y/N) is a country. One day America requests few countries including (C/N) in a meeting.. Somehow they end up in Disney land. Action: Checked✔ Breaking the 4th wall: Checked✔ Romance: Checked✔ 2p's: ..Maybe? Shitty humor: Checked✔ And i think that everybody knows that i don't own Hetalia (Or do i?), you (you belong to the countries) or any of the pictures that i have used! I just own few of my OC's and the story plot.Complete![Dominant【Gene X Reader】[ Completed ]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/242868474-256-k40397.jpg)
Dominant【Gene X Reader】[ Completed ]
CONTENT CONTAINS : SEXUAL CONTENT DRUG USE VIOLENCE & STRONG LANGUAGE IF YOUR EASILY TRIGGERED OR UNCOMFORTABLE, DO NOT READ!! • " The nerve! " " What the hell did I just got myself into? " " How's my phone? " " 14 missed calls " " More pop tarts? " " Do you think it was a mistake? " " What is? " " The fact that I slept with him " " Well. . . .wait what?! " " I know! " " What?!, When?!, Where?!, Why?!, And how?! " • As the average savage adult that I am, I can be very serious with my work and words, but that happens exactly right after the death of my father, or so I thought. My brothers and I have been getting along very well, as a Bounty Hunter, I can be very intimidating, until I met him. His hair, his eyes, his touch is all I need, I never thought all that of him can make me feel like this and to my surprise, I act like a child. I was just no longer that average savage adult that I was, but everything changed when I learned about his past. I couldn't believe it nor could I even want to, it was overwhelming. I was lost, confused, it got to the point where I wasn't myself for a while. But the fun part is being Dominant. What's that supposed to mean?, What past did this person learn?, Is the father dead or alive?, Who's more dominant?, In what way? Read this book to know. Credit : To a game called 'PUBG' [ Completed ] Started : 1st January 2021 Finished : 24th March 2021 [ Highest Ranking : #6 in Aphmau ] [ #1 in Gene ] [ #1 in Gene x Reader ] Disclaimers : I do not own ANY of the characters only the ideas, they belong to a youtuber called Aphmau, I don't own any of the songs either or the pictures, except Y/n, it belongs to you. There are a few characters that I OWN. My OC : Xelora Kiselyov Catherine Fox Ash Lee Mandrell Natalie Rosetta Mandrell Coraline Alycia Jones Mariko AkiyamaComplete
"I like that I can read this in a child like voice for the beginning and that it's descriptive yet secretive." "I have so many things to say, but I'll start with, this was amazing. You seriously depicted every emotional turn with such great detail and strength and it's simply amazing" "You never cease to amaze me." * All the things I wish I could say but life just got in the way. My hopes and dreams all taken, my life turned around, I got lost and I don't think I'll ever be found. This story is a series of letters to my sister Ashley, someone I never had the chance to meet. It will walk through when I was a child and found out I was getting a sister to when I got older and understood why she never came into this world. Through this story you will see how this one thing had such an impact on my life and made me the person I am today. This one moment is what got me into writing. I went from imagining who she'd be as a person to making my own characters and stories so that I could escape the real world. This is my story. This is Ashley's story. This is my life. Update: The book is complete. I have revised and edited and I don't feel that there is anything left I need to say. Thank you for the reads, make sure to vote comment and follow.
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