From the Void

Ending my life was always an option I'd entertained since I was a child, but I didn't start writing about it regularly until I was serious. So my memoir begins, with that first journal entry written during a time when I almost made a decision I couldn't take back. I survived, and through the years I documented the abuse and severe mental illnesses I've endured. My alters and spirit guides -- my head family -- were there to help me endure, and many of our conversations are a part of this long, effed up journey through some of the worst years of my life.

As a queer, disabled trans person, I'm ready to speak my truth. It's not always pretty; sometimes it's full of dark humor and offensive jokes, and sometimes, it's like I was writing my own eulogy. At others, it's poetic word salad during psychotic states. It's pissed people off, but I hope it can find solidarity with those who understand it, as well as add to the Mental Health Awareness conversation in a way I don't often see.

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Note: This is a memoir told through journal entries written throughout the years. A lot of this may be hard to read and gets very dark, and it's blunt and honest in ways some may be offended or upset by. Difficult subjects are not sugarcoated when discussing trauma, mental illnesses, and sexual subjects. With that in mind, a thorough content warning and disclaimer has been included in the introduction, so please don't skip it.

*Please note, this memoir does not in any way promote or glorify any acts of self-harm or any other harmful act upon yourself. If you are having thoughts about hurting yourself, please reach out for help to your loved ones and avoid triggering content. You matter, and the world is better with you in it ♥

I am posting this here as a work in progress. It helps me stay focused on editing and encourages me to work on it every day.