My Mental Health Journal

My Mental Health Journal

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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Dec 26, 2024
Before looking any further!! Please note that this is a journal that contains my personal experiences and it may be triggering for some people!! (SH, SA, attempting, ptsd, etc.) My New Year's resolution is to work on myself. I want to try to be happy or at least find peace in myself. So I've decided to start a journal on here to capture my thoughts. I hope to be able to look back at this one day and see how far I have come and maybe even be able to help someone else who has gone through or is struggling with anything.
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It was October 2023, and my now-ex-fiance had moved out of our trailer for good. I decided to end our relationship and thought I had emotionally moved on from them. I was wrong-dead wrong. What followed them moving out was something I could not have ever thought to experience. I began to experience extreme mood swings, controlling behavior, self-esteem issues, and a new-found addiction to alcohol. This was just the tip of the iceberg, as I was constantly flirting with suicide on a daily basis. I could not begin to even tell you about how I went through an emo phase, a "man hoe" phase, and multiple other phases as well due to my deteriorating mental health. I began to document my everyday life after our split through two separate journals over a twelve-month span. This is the true tale of how a breakup brought me to the realization that I was an abuser and that I became the same monster that I swore not to become as a kid. This is how trauma ruined my life, and how it will ruin yours too.

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