Kidnapped by Gorgeous Vamps - 1D

!THIS IS SATIRE!
It's a story that my friend, Famke, and I started writing in our 1D group chat because we were talking about the classic y/n stories. Everything in this fic is not to be taken seriously and just made to entertain.
Credits for the main plot ideas go to our group chat, 'The Best Cult Ever'.
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Y/n is NOT like all the other girls.
She had been sold by her struggling mother to none other than Mr. Harry Styles. But something seems odd about him and his four friends. They live in a secluded mansion in the woods and keep on talking about a 'Seasoning'.
Someone seems out to get them, and by extension, y/n.
What will happen when an unknown stranger breaks into their mansion?
Will y/n be able to survive this adventure with One Direction?
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The first couple of chapters have been edited. I genuinely have no idea where this story is going. It's not planned out, we only have a couple of dot points of things that should happen and I'll tie them together somehow :)
Updates will definitely be irregular, sorry in advance!