I couldn't bring myself to do this again. Why did I do it myself, I have no idea. I suppose I wanted it. But maybe I wanted it because it hurt me. And here I am now, trembling, and crying... Again. I've got to stop doing this to myself but there's a thrill that I need and it's destroying me.
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"I wanted you but I can't have you.
Our love was forbidden.
I was normal until I met you and now
I'm blaming this on you.
You destroyed me."
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