Story cover for Love beyond the surface  by Fame344
Love beyond the surface
  • WpView
    Reads 2
  • WpVote
    Votes 1
  • WpPart
    Parts 1
  • WpHistory
    Time 13m
  • WpView
    Reads 2
  • WpVote
    Votes 1
  • WpPart
    Parts 1
  • WpHistory
    Time 13m
Ongoing, First published Feb 02
Strengths
1. *Immersive world-building*: Your story has a richly detailed and immersive underwater world, full of magical creatures and hidden wonders.
2. *Romantic tension*: The forbidden love between Astrid and Aston creates a delicious tension that drives the story forward.
3. *Emotional depth*: The characters' emotions and motivations are well-explored, making it easy to become invested in their journey.

Weaknesses
1. *Pacing issues*: Some chapters feel a bit slow or repetitive, which can disrupt the story's flow.
2. *Convenient plot devices*: The crystal orb and the magical portal feel like convenient solutions to the characters' problems.
3. *Lack of conflict*: The story is relatively conflict-free, which can make it feel a bit too easy or straightforward.

Suggestions
1. *Vary sentence structure*: To improve pacing, try mixing up short and long sentences, as well as using different sentence structures.
2. *Add more tension and conflict*: Introduce more obstacles or challenges for the characters to overcome, which will make their ultimate triumph more satisfying.
3. *Show, don't tell*: Instead of telling the reader about the characters' emotions or motivations, show them through action, dialogue, and body language.

I hope these suggestions help! Do you have any questions or would you like more specific feedback?
All Rights Reserved
Sign up to add Love beyond the surface to your library and receive updates
or
Content Guidelines
You may also like
(hiccup x reader) After all this time, I still love you... by ScarletCipher
15 parts Complete Mature
#1 hiccupxreader Warning: LEMON, also, following this story will put you in major FEELS! I didn't change Hiccup or Toothless's personally btw:) summary- You knew Hiccup since you were children. You were the next ruler in line for your Island and hiccup was next chief in line for Berk. You'd fly your dragon from your island to Berk and meet in secret with Hiccup everyday deep in the woods. You were best friends. You'd tell each other everything. Throughout your teenage years, you were an inseparable couple. Everything was magical, until one day when you were being forced to marry a selfish man who everyone thought had the power to end a war. You loved only Hiccup, a man who no body on your island knew, or would ever approve of. Your strict parents would never let you marry a Viking. So you disappeared into a new far away place with your dragon, and you were never seen again. Hiccup and (y/n), an unbreakable bond. What happens when you are reunited with Hiccup and he is the only person that you want? Is it possible to make everything go back to normal, after you abandoned everything you knew? Was the new world where you truly belong? Or is it in Hiccups arms? I guess we'll just have to wait and see... -rude language, brief sexual content, gore descriptions- (Hiccup and Astrid are not dating in this story, but the whole gang are very good friends) Also, most of the artwork in this book isn't mine, notify me if you have credit/ it's yours. Also be sure to vote and follow me for more:) #1 hiccupxreader
Long Live The Leaders by caesarhamato22
11 parts Complete
Based after How To Train Your Dragon: Hidden World and during the new Netflix series Rescue Riders. ------------------------------------------------------------ Since the dragons left Berk to live in the Hidden World, Hiccup had been missing Toothless desperately. Same would be said for Toothless. He missed his best friend. Besides from that, everything was going great for the both of them. They had started families with their lovers, Toothless was going good as the Alpha/King dragon and Hiccup was performing his duties as the Chief of Berk very well. But despite their lives being close to perfect, neither of them could shake the feeling of missing each other. So Astrid came up with an idea. Hiccup and Toothless could catch up while they go away for a couple of days. Both Berk and the Hidden World would be looked after well by their leaders wives. Hiccup and Toothless thought it was a great idea, so they accepted. And there was no doubt they were excited. But what would happen if they were caught in a terrible storm and crashlanded onto an island? With Toothless' self-working prosthetic tail broken, they needed supplies to fix it. But what if the island's protecters, the Rescue Riders, thought they were a threat and didn't know that they were about to fire blast the famous Dragon Master and powerful Alpha? ------------------------------------------------------------ I don't own anything except the plot of this FanFiction. Highest Rankings: #1 Hiddenworld #4 Riders #16 HTTYD #1 HTTYD1 #3 HTTYD3 #1 Rescueriders {Completed}
Secrets Can Kill by newadvantures
32 parts Complete Mature
A simple girl became one of the strongest woman, named Jules. But that costed her far more than anyone's expectation, losing what she held preciously. Pain become a part of her daily life at the early age of 17. And she lived with it for far too long. Unable to take it and trying to move forward to change, to live a normal life, she leaves her world behind and starts anew at the age of 33. But when she finds the one person who she genuinely cares about, her past comes back to haunt her, to take her back into the familiar but painful world of secrets, a world she was made for. Sebastian is a normal man with a normal life who finds himself attracted to Jules at their very first meeting. Slowly, but surely, falling in love with her. But he quickly learns that she is not what she seems to be. A bag of lies and burden of past on her shoulders all the time. While she cannot avoid going back, Jules doesn't want to lose the person she has grown to care. But finding out about her past filled with lies and secrets, will they accept her? Will they give her a chance, to remain close to her? Will they believe her words, or what they see? Or will the past haunt her, chase her, forever? ------------------ This is mainly a romantic-action story. The topics listed below are part of the book but the book is not filled with it. > mature language > blood scenes > rape/attempt > traumatic experience and expressions > shooting > mature content They have been warned about in the story. Also I apologize for some bad grammar. English is not my strength... Hope you have a good read!! Project Started: 3/06/21 Project Ended: 12/10/21
Crown of Thorns by zanthenewt
49 parts Complete
Atlantis was the first city to sink. Hundreds of cities followed, and millions of people drowned, swallowed by an unforgiving ocean. It seemed as if half the world was underwater. Among the few survivors was Ayesha Akhdir. In a post-apocalyptic world, Ayesha must navigate visions and voices, discovering abilities she can't explain. Ayesha soon meets others who have survived, each with their own unique abilities. She doesn't know why she's survived or what her purpose is. She doesn't have long to find out. "Just as the wave prepared to crash down and engulf the land, swallowing everyone on it, blinding pain erupted in my head, sending me staggering away from the window. Before everything fell black I heard a familiar voice roar in my mind. 'THE BEGINNING IS NIGH!'" The Beginning of what? WHAT READERS ARE SAYING "I love the Description and imagery..." "...Readers will definitely want to tag along for the journey." "Exquisitely painful. Great writing." "I am in absolute awe of your imagination! It knows no bounds." "I am left feeling quite breathless by the way you paint your scenes. It must be a quite incredible place inside your mind!!" *Grammar Queen: the Story Crafters Awards 1st: The Invisible Awards 1st: The Recognition Awards 1st: the World of Champions Awards 1st: the Winter Rose Awards 2018 1st: the Astral Society Awards 2019 1st: the Winter Dusk Awards 1st: the Biannual Beginners Writers Awards 1st: Blue Orchid Awards 2nd: the Geranium Awards 2nd: The Greatest Awards 2nd: the Story Crafters Awards 2nd: the Winter Circle Awards 2nd: Rose Awards* Cover by the fantastic @niranju98 *This is a work of fanfiction based on Kresley Cole's 'The Arcana Chronicles'. It is written so that you don't need to have read the series to understand it so don't be deterred. Actually, those who have not read the series will likely get more out of my story. Some of the lines are the same for reasons that do mesh with the canon text.*
You may also like
Slide 1 of 10
(hiccup x reader) After all this time, I still love you... cover
Runaways cover
How To Save Your Trapper [An Eret Love Story] cover
Fate and Destiny (The Fated Series, #2) cover
Long Live The Leaders cover
Honey Eyes - Hiccup X Reader  cover
Secrets Can Kill cover
Crown of Thorns cover
Not So Wild. (Hiccup X Reader) Complete. cover
Comet Nights (HTTYD Fanfic) cover

(hiccup x reader) After all this time, I still love you...

15 parts Complete Mature

#1 hiccupxreader Warning: LEMON, also, following this story will put you in major FEELS! I didn't change Hiccup or Toothless's personally btw:) summary- You knew Hiccup since you were children. You were the next ruler in line for your Island and hiccup was next chief in line for Berk. You'd fly your dragon from your island to Berk and meet in secret with Hiccup everyday deep in the woods. You were best friends. You'd tell each other everything. Throughout your teenage years, you were an inseparable couple. Everything was magical, until one day when you were being forced to marry a selfish man who everyone thought had the power to end a war. You loved only Hiccup, a man who no body on your island knew, or would ever approve of. Your strict parents would never let you marry a Viking. So you disappeared into a new far away place with your dragon, and you were never seen again. Hiccup and (y/n), an unbreakable bond. What happens when you are reunited with Hiccup and he is the only person that you want? Is it possible to make everything go back to normal, after you abandoned everything you knew? Was the new world where you truly belong? Or is it in Hiccups arms? I guess we'll just have to wait and see... -rude language, brief sexual content, gore descriptions- (Hiccup and Astrid are not dating in this story, but the whole gang are very good friends) Also, most of the artwork in this book isn't mine, notify me if you have credit/ it's yours. Also be sure to vote and follow me for more:) #1 hiccupxreader