Pulp-Free Orange Juice

Robin Fey is your generic depressed Otaku in 1980s Dallas Texas aside from one thing; he's loaded. Having a rich archeologist uncle has it's advantages, until you get dragged on a trip to the Amazon. Robin comes home barley alive, with a perverted feral girl raised by pink Dolphins, because being raised by wolves would be too predictable.

Now, Robin must fight the writing team of this story and social media to stop his life from becoming a generic harem or henti fanfiction, while his one sided love interest Fern must overcome chastity gear, language barriers, online shopping, and a glass of orange juice to fulfill the purpose given to her by several questionable people and marine mammals; bring a new generation with her savior. Will she do it? No, of course not. Get your mind out of the gutter.