The Alluring Demise

The Alluring Demise

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WpMetadataNoticePublikasi terakhir Rab, Feb 5, 2025
Codependent is what I had become. Someone else's pain, anger, instability, and broken pieces. I was the pleaser, the rescuer, and a martyr. Even knowing I proclaimed smarter. I always felt guilty. Never knew how to be one with myself. Everything was always fine, or it is what it is. When it was not, it had become a shame. Boundary setting made me selfish. I found the desired courage to respond with needs of my own. I discovered what was of my own humanity. And realizing helping other, does not start with them. It starts with healing me. Muttering the words, I am worthy.
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It started when the rain fell. As it hit the windows rhythmically, I fought my sleep. Fighting off the demons in my dreams. I hadn't realized how real that dream became. Waking up to terrified screaming. My heart racing, the lighting striking and my family begging for their lives. I claimed myself as a coward that very same night. I hated myself. My depression became the best of me. What's worst then your family being slaughtered? Hiding in the closet from the killers. I should've helped, I should've been there for them. The pain between my chest and stomach was growing guilt. So I started thinking smart. Looking at everyone differently. I decided to reopen their cold cases. And when I found the truth it hit me deep.

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