The Unwritten Rules Of The Mind

Where do I go from here? What do I do? What do I even want? Why does it feel like everyone is ahead of me? Am I not good enough, smart enough, motivated enough?

These are the questions that loop endlessly in my mind, and I know I'm not alone in asking them. I've spent years quietly battling anxiety, panic attacks, and a constant sense of feeling lost-unsure of my place in the world. I have ideas, ambitions, and strengths, but self-doubt and fear seem to hold them hostage.

At 18, I didn't crave nights out. I didn't feel the rush of excitement at the thought of weekend plans. I preferred the comfort of home, where everything felt safe, predictable, within my control. Meanwhile, my friends spent their Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays out in the world, thriving in ways I couldn't understand. Was I different? Was I strange? Why am I like this?

Now, I stand at yet another crossroads-graduated from university, uncertain about my next step. Why don't I have the answers? Why can't I land a job in the field I just spent years studying? Why does everything feel so difficult? The doubt creeps in, the negative thoughts take over.

I'm starting to realise something: Feeling lost doesn't disappear just because I dwell on it. Cherish the unknown, Life will work itself out, it has to 🌏