Daydreaming
- Reads 53
- Votes 4
- Parts 4
MatureOngoing13m
Last published Fri, Apr 3, 2026
This is a log of dreams, daydreams, intrusive thoughts, and the mind of someone struggling.
If this sounds like you, please, continue reading. It may be validating, or reassuring.
You're not the only one.
Your not alone, My Stencil
-Sagan
All Rights Reserved
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Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. The thoughts and emotions I battle and the imaginary scenarios I dream up sometimes. Think of this is as my own public diary. . I will warn there are some themes surrounding mental health, self harming thoughts and actions, and talk of traumatising events. Please check tags for trigger warnings.Complete
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Locked In
You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.Complete
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The leaving 11 years on on going stopped up dating for a awhile
The leaving. It was hard, tragic , painful, yet it had to be done, I needed to save my life. I didn't want to start again, this would be the story of finding myself, pulling myself back together, reuniting the happy go lucky youngster I had once been. The shock of leaving took more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I had asked two people to help me move out of the house I had shared with my partner for 8 years, we had been together 23 years in total. The move was done in total secrecy, my partner could never know in advance, it was a very scary time. I had moved various things out of the house and secured a rent on a property nearby. The house I picked was near the School the children went to, and my oldest lad was going to be near his best friend. My Mother told me of the property it was advertised on the web, we both went and had a look, even that was scary, I didn't want to be seen by anyone and became paranoid that I would be caught out. For many months I lived on a new kind of fear, the fear of someone finding out that I planned to leave my abusive partner, though of course no one knew my seemingly happy, funny, generous partner was abusive. Finding the house was one thing, getting the various companies to connect the house and exchanging the information of my current address so they could varify that I was, who I said I was almost drove me mad. The day came to leave, My Mother and a very dear Friend came round as early as possible, we packed as much as we could. This included taking the boys clothes, bedding, toys, stuff from the garden, my stuff. We had 3 cars the packing seem to take all day. By the end we had to get going to be able to unpack, leaving me time to pick up the boys from School and settle them in their new home. I couldn't do it at first,I started to cry then scream, to leave the world I had put so much of my life into, and now in a split second would be leaving was breaking my heart.Complete
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Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. The thoughts and emotions I battle and the imaginary scenarios I dream up sometimes. Think of this is as my own public diary. . I will warn there are some themes surrounding mental health, self harming thoughts and actions, and talk of traumatising events. Please check tags for trigger warnings.
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