Deceptive Despair
- Reads 4
- Votes 0
- Parts 2
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sat, Mar 15, 2025
TW: SUICIDAL/HOMICIDAL IDEATION, DESCRIPTION OF PSYCHOTIC EPISODES
"What did I do to deserve this?"
Here, learn about the life of a depressed schizophrenic and all of her ramblings that come with it. Feel her pain, her sorrow and her anguish as you traverse through a world of deception and delusion just when the writer thinks she's got it figured out.
All Rights Reserved
#50
delusion
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
![Replaceable Timelines: Book 1. [COMPLETED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/343720188-256-k614074.jpg)
Replaceable Timelines: Book 1. [COMPLETED]
Paranoia... has become my constant companion. Ahh... Danny, what've you gotten yourself into? Thought I was doing something... thought I was gonna get better. Turns out it was all for nothing. I knew I'd be here again. Rock bottom's the only place for real pieces of shit like us... Like me. All that self-improvement didn't mean shit... Or I guess it did, or I wouldn't be here right now... Trying to fill those shoes, re-paint that grim portrait that haunted me... and I did, made everyone proud, even you mom... But it won't mean anything if I die out here. I thought those jumbled remnants of thoughts were the pull of my former self in a disassosiative amnesia from the drugs... Guess it was the pull of a much more treacherous force. I wish I could've lived my fantasy out and been happy.... At least you were, while it lasted. "Times almost up, they'll be here soon." TRIGGER WARNINGS: Crude humor, Illicit drug use, Drug overdose, loss of a child, suicide, bullying, traumatic events, Mature themes, graphic violence, death.Complete
Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed)
When you're stuck inside a layer of skin you never asked for, what does the soul do? It cries out in poems and pictures, and words that have so much meaning to anyone if they look hard enough. It winces in pain every time the pen hits the paper and shouts in agony every time the mirror is reflected upon a burning face. This is a collection of me. My eating disorder, my depression, anxiety, my thoughts, my words, my pain. If you've ever wondered what it was like inside the mind of an anorexic, a bulimic, a chronically depressed woman, here is the answer. A memoir written by me. There is no specific order you should read this book. Choose a random chapter from the table of contents, and read. Take a little in, leave a little out. ****** There is a major trigger warning for almost every story in here. If you are sensitive to numbers, or ideas or anything of this matter, this book may not be for you.Complete
The Day I Met Ana
Hi, my name is Anorexia. Ana for short. I'm here to tell a story. A story of struggle, family issues, and most of all, losing. At the moment I'm quite friendless and time will unfold that story but for now I have a question. Would you like to be my friend? I promise I'm nothing like they say. But I have to warn you, you must do everything I say.Complete
Darkest addiction
Have you ever wondered why you ever existed in this fucked up world and made every attempt to end your misery by taking your life. Carla Holland is the perfect example, going through pain, misery, betrayal and addiction are too much for her to handle which made her psychotic and abnormal. The once sweet, normal and cute Carla had turned crazy, numb and cold. She is despised by everyone around her like her mom, older sis, her bestie then the whole school. Carla didn't know who to turn to when going through pain and her mental health is slipping away, so she finds comfort in taking drugs to feel numb and not giving a fuck with what's going on. Not until she met him Zephyr Adler who also went through being an addict, he help her pull through but the question is does she wanna be helped or better still wanna end up being an addict forever. Zeph cornered me on the wall beside the door, then he shuts the door really hard and damn I could feel his breath on my face. "You aren't leaving not when am here do you understand" he warned, I couldn't concentrate not when his eyes are lingered on my lips or his hardened cock touching my laps. Is he hard for me or am just feeling things? "You don't command me Zeph, know your fucking place" I gritted through my teeth, he grabbed my chin pulling my face closer to his, almost kissing me. "I gets to command you every fucking time Carla, I mean it when I said am gonna help you pull through even if fucking your pussy with my tongue or fucking you really slow and hard until you forgets the word drug, do you understand" he whispered directly on my lips. I clenched my thigh in arousal and lust, what's is Zephyr Adler doing to me, why does his dirty words usually gets me horny every fucking time?. I loathed his presence but yet I still wants him closer every fucking time and its scares me sometimes.Complete
𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀
Rita becomes strict with her eating, everyday the number of calories she eats gets lower and the amount of time she does cardio gets higher. She practices of managing her starvation by distracting it and never catches a break on the scale. Nobody is aware of it, it was something Rita doesn't want her friends or family to know, hiding her body from them didn't last long. Her mother noticed the dramatic weight change on her body. She tries to help her get back to her eating and tells her many times that she's "perfectly skinny" but nothing works. Her mother puts her foot down as Rita started to get ill, her mom takes her to a mental health hospital. She deals with consequences from her nurses and other patients.Complete
Untreated
This is the story of a sick, sick mind. The virus of trauma has infested the brain, deteriorating their body from the inside out. Stuck in an endless loop of pain and suffering, they can't seem to make any of it stop. Nor, find the root of it all. This is the story of a patient with psychosis. Stronger than even the highest warden can reach. The cure for this disease is unknown. The pain is Indescribable . And the effects are unimaginable. From hallucinations, to murder, this patient can never be fixed by a doctor. And, perhaps, not even by death. Captivated by lonesome, insanity welcomes you. When you hear the static, cover your eyes. When your neck is cold, don't turn around. And if you ever feel alone, run. I hope you are uncomfortable.Complete
Unbelieving (A Johnlock Fanfiction)
Simply exhausted of all colour. Wasted. I didn't lie down. I didn't blink. I just sat there, staring into nothingness, waiting for something to materialise into my vision. Something. Anything. I had kept Sherlock away. Kept him away from his death, for so long. So long. Little did I know, all he needed was a little jump from a rooftop. It wouldn't take me long either, would it? I wasn't going to die. I needed relief. I needed disconnection. Disorientation. Oblivion. Ignorance. Because ignorance is bliss. It was in my hand, now. Like vengeance disguised in forgiveness. Breathe. Steady. Hold. Control. . . . Now. Pain shot through my arms and my palms, like my nails were being pulled out. It spread like fire, like ice cold fire, still burning like coals. My limbs were numb. I fell onto the bed, my mouth pressed into the sheet at an odd angle. I was too fatigued to change it. Too drowned to change it. Drowned too deep. To change anything. I'd never done this. Was I going to die? It'd be better if I died. What would that feel like? Flying? Better that this I suppose. Don't you think, Sherlock? [TW: IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH PTSD SCHIZOPHRENIA DEPRESSION ANXIETY PANIC DISORDERS DRUGS OR ARE TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING ELSE PLEASE PROCEED WITH DISCRETION. GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF NEAR- SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND VIOLENCE AND ZERO CLOSURE LIKE LITERALLY NO CLOSURE]Complete
Starving For Help
"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.Complete
Paranoia... has become my constant companion. Ahh... Danny, what've you gotten yourself into? Thought I was doing something... thought I was gonna get better. Turns out it was all for nothing. I knew I'd be here again. Rock bottom's the only place for real pieces of shit like us... Like me. All that self-improvement didn't mean shit... Or I guess it did, or I wouldn't be here right now... Trying to fill those shoes, re-paint that grim portrait that haunted me... and I did, made everyone proud, even you mom... But it won't mean anything if I die out here. I thought those jumbled remnants of thoughts were the pull of my former self in a disassosiative amnesia from the drugs... Guess it was the pull of a much more treacherous force. I wish I could've lived my fantasy out and been happy.... At least you were, while it lasted. "Times almost up, they'll be here soon." TRIGGER WARNINGS: Crude humor, Illicit drug use, Drug overdose, loss of a child, suicide, bullying, traumatic events, Mature themes, graphic violence, death.
More detailsContent Guidelines