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Tick, Tock

Tick, Tock

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WpMetadataReadComplete Thu, Jun 12, 2025<5 mins
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Poetry
When you start losing your memories. When you start losing yourself. When you start becoming the spectator of your own life, what do you do? How are you supposed to restart when nothing's the same anymore? The effects of Alzheimer's disease are irresistible. Nobody's at fault, really. But that doesn't make it any easier. The slow, creeping fog that dims the world around you-faces, names, places-becomes more than just a nuisance. It becomes a thief. Stealing moments, stealing connections, stealing yourself. Your life turns to sand, slipping through your fingers no matter how much you try to hold on. What can you do? Do you fight against it, hold onto every shred of memory with desperate hands? Or do you accept the inevitable, surrendering to the quiet unraveling of who you were, to become someone new-someone unrecognizable, even to yourself?
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

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