The new normal: A bipolar memoir - lava - Wattpad

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The new normal: A bipolar memoir

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Parts 2
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Reads 6
Votes 4
Parts 2
Time <5 mins

bipolar bipolardisorder depression highenergy mania

What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why do I have these insane thoughts inside my head? What is normal? Is this my new normal? Why can I go from everything's fine to I am this grandiose being in a split second?All Rights Reserved

bipolar bipolardisorder depression highenergy mania

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Built for the Storm: A Journey Through a Mind That Won't Sit Still by manishpandeyask

Sometimes, I feel like I was designed not to live - but just to survive. My brain doesn't crave joy, meaning, or legacy - it just tries to prevent crisis. It calculates food, money, safety. It panics. It runs. It hides. And somehow... it keeps missing life. I've spent years trying to understand why my mind behaves this way. Why it imagines catastrophes while standing still. Why it avoids the simplest task. Why it overthinks even brushing teeth, but can ride a cycle for 100 km in the rain without blinking. One day, when I was still, completely still... with no task to distract me... this strange feeling overtook me. The thought that maybe - just maybe - I am not supposed to design my own purpose. I looked up. And I said, silently: "God... if You made me this way... if You crafted this restless, impulsive, chaos-driven machine of a brain... then You must know where I fit. Use me. Don't let me rot in guilt and survival. Don't let me just float. You know this universe in ways I never can. You know every corner of it. So You must know the one place where this exact wiring of mine can become meaningful." This wasn't surrender from pain. It was surrender from trying to control something I've clearly never understood. I don't need peace. I don't need success. I need to be used. Fully. For something only this kind of life, this kind of mind, could contribute. If I am a tool, let me build something. If I am a flame, let me burn where light is needed. But don't keep me in the dark asking, "Why me?" Maybe I wasn't built to ask. I was built to be assigned.

My Life, My Alpha.......My Love by cookielover135

"Zachary." I snickered. He growled playfully as I laughed, dodging his attempt to grab me and took off running in a random direction. I ran with Zac right on my heels, until I turned a corner and ran into a hard chest. I prepared myself for a hard fall, when two muscular arms shot out, wrapping around my waist and crushing my body against theirs. "Hello, beautiful." The person said. I looked up to see a handsome boy, probably around seventeen also. His face looked oddly familiar and while trying to figure out why, I froze. His face was inching closer and closer to mine. I could feel his breath wash over my face as his lips was parted, only inches away from my face, eyes closing slightly, when suddenly a fierce growl shot out through the silence, that had my body tingling. In a flash I was out of the mysterious boy's hold and my hand instantly reached out to steady myself. I looked up to see Zac, pinning the boy by his throat, on a nearby wall. "Keep your filthy hands to yourself, she's MINE!!!!"He growled possessively. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My name is Jessica Matthews, i'm 17 and i'm a werewolf..not only that but the alpha's daughter.My life was perfect, i had an amazing family which consisted of my parents, my older brother Jared and I, I had a wonderful bestfriend, Stacey and, even though he wasn't my mate, a perfect boyfriend, Dylan, or at least i thought so, until one night he does something unforgivable and my mate waltzes in as my knight in shining armor. But what happens when Dylan won't let me go so easily and insists that i'm his. It also does nothing to help the fact that my mate is possessive and won't let anyone have what's his. Follow me on this journey of love, lust, hurt and betrayal...and hopefully...A HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!

𝕳𝖚𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖘, 𝕳𝖚𝖍 by Strawbeary-Loaf

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴇʀᴍᴀɴ x ᴘɪʀᴀᴛᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ -------- WARNING BEFORE YOU READ #2 mermaids 20200606 #4 fan made 20200605 #8 humans 20200605 #22 Obsession 20200605 #1 fish 20220630 !!!!UNDER SOME HEAVY EDITING!!!! -Swearing -inappropriateness of the human body -sexual theme or content -maybe a lemon or maybe a whole lot -auctioning up -18+ mind to read this "375 gold coins for this pretty little fishy" a tradesman shouts out as there was a whole crowd surrounding the pretty artificial who was scared to death. Y/n was walking down the street going to see her dad when she sees the auction on a dumb fish girl. 'Who would want her' she thought as she took a step away from the area Until a firm shout was called out of the crowd "5...hundred gold coins" he raised his hand while female turns around to see his bagged money already in the tradesman's hand. He pushes the container to him with the girl, screaming. She grins at this stupid idea and ran off "This is stupid, Y/n" She gather her crew to sent sail in a couple of minutes. She pulls one of her excitement smile on for the crowd to see. "I know, but it could help us with mother's sickness" She steers away off the deck and into the ocean with her crewmen scattering around her "What if you don't come back" Y/n peered down slowly to see the necklace with a piece of diamond tied around it, she looks back up clutching it with one hand. "I promise I'll come back" ---- "Come look, boss!" Joey came running into my room as I got up ASAP. I could see my mother already getting the treatment she needs for sickness to go away, but what if it was a false alarm as usual. I took slowest time ever because I been through this a multiple times. I emerged myself out in the open, squinting my eyes for the sun to hit my face immediately. I crouched down to the thing that got captured in our net, I adjust my eyes and a huge smile came onto my face. "It's a fish man" Created of the wallpape

Glader Girl by PhillyReader

*Points at Gally* I LOVE HIM, YOUR HONOR! Gally does NOT get enough love, I stg, SMH. Plot: The first girl wasn't Theresa, it was me. I came up in the box, injured, with no memory, a necklace I don't recognize, and no trust for any of the boys around me. Except him. A Gally ship-fanfic. I try to blend both the books and the movies together, so it does follow the plot, but that isn't till waaaaaay later. This will all be one book. **Character notes: Gally- If you look up the WICKED files on Gally, it says he has Alpha tendencies, but I like movie Gally better, so that's how he'll be acting. There might be some dom. instances here and there, but they won't make up 100% of his personality. Newt- I AM A NEWTMAS SHIPPER, *FUCK YOU THERESA* But for plot, he has an attraction for the MC. It's nothing crazy, but it's relevant b/c I love the little cinnamon roll too. Alby & Minho- Again, I like the movie version of the characters, so the Gladers aren't assess lol.

Locked In by MichaelaCilley

You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.

| Gally X Reader | Forever and Always | Tmr | The Maze Runner | by WhyDidIGetThis1133

COMPLETED - UNDER EDITING!! This will include The Maze Runner and The Death Cure (I'm only going to do a brief summary of The Scorch Trials because Gally isn't in it) Olivia is the first girl to arrive in the maze. And of course, that is going to come with unwanted attention from the boys, who can't remember ever seeing a girl. But what about that boy, the one she remembers as 'eyebrows', who has a pure hate for her? Why does that hate even exist? But why can't she shake him out of her mind? This will follow the movie plot, rather than the book plot. I (unfortunately) don't own the rights to Maze Runner, however I have created a few characters for this story. I suck at descriptions😀🔫 Most impressive rankings: #1 in 'Gally' #1 in 'thedeathcure' #1 in 'willpoulter' #1 in 'avapaige' #1 in 'gallyxreader' #1 in 'tmr' #1 in 'janson' #2 in 'dylanobrien' Start date: 31st July 2021 End date: 31st July 2022

HATRED (Gally x Reader Fanfic) by writingb00ks

Y/n wakes up in a strange, different place unaware of her previous ventures. Her brain scrambled she tries to fit in. Only remembering her name, meeting new people may be difficult. Then she meets him. 'God, the hatred I have for that man is tiring.' 'In the end, it was down to us. Although the hatred we had for eachother I'll always love you, y/n.' Gally x Reader Fanfic || 1st book of my trilogy || CHARACTERS DONT BELONG TO ME!! (ONLY Y/N) Most of the scenes belong to me, others don't. A/N - Authors note Y/n- Your name *SMUT, ANGST WARNING* Y/n- Stawberry, blonde hair. Whatever eye color you want. Long hair. Bubbly, persistent personality. Started- 2/4/22 Finished- 22/4/22 30,000+ words #1 gallyxreader - 1/5/22 #1 tmrfanfic - 2/6/22 #1 fanmade - 5/6/22 #1 storyplot - 6/6/22 #1 thomas - 11/6/22 #1 gally - 20/5/22 #1 distopian - 2/9/22 #1 tmrgally - 1/2/23 #1 willpoulter - 16/4/23 #1 glade - 22/4/23 #1 mazerunner - 31/1/24

Gallys bird by umbxch

(Smut) Birdy and gallys relationship was built of small arguments and constant bickering. They had both been there for three years till shit blew up. the original gladers. ------------------------------ "You are both like an old married couple" A short fanfic for people who don't want slow books Gally x reader Maze runner Based of after scorch trials I would also like when you read this story to consider that I am extremely dyslexic and wrote these probably when I shouldn't have if you get me so please try to ignore spelling mistakes or grammar for my sake :) ENJOYYYY

I know I'm insane by prncssparanoia

I had never thought I was insane. I guess everyone else felt different.

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Slide 1 of 9

Built for the Storm: A Journey Through a Mind That Won't Sit Still cover

My Life, My Alpha.......My Love cover

𝕳𝖚𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖘, 𝕳𝖚𝖍 cover

Glader Girl cover

Locked In cover

| Gally X Reader | Forever and Always | Tmr | The Maze Runner | cover

HATRED (Gally x Reader Fanfic) cover

Gallys bird cover

I know I'm insane cover

Built for the Storm: A Journey Through a Mind That Won't Sit Still

Sometimes, I feel like I was designed not to live - but just to survive. My brain doesn't crave joy, meaning, or legacy - it just tries to prevent crisis. It calculates food, money, safety. It panics. It runs. It hides. And somehow... it keeps missing life. I've spent years trying to understand why my mind behaves this way. Why it imagines catastrophes while standing still. Why it avoids the simplest task. Why it overthinks even brushing teeth, but can ride a cycle for 100 km in the rain without blinking. One day, when I was still, completely still... with no task to distract me... this strange feeling overtook me. The thought that maybe - just maybe - I am not supposed to design my own purpose. I looked up. And I said, silently: "God... if You made me this way... if You crafted this restless, impulsive, chaos-driven machine of a brain... then You must know where I fit. Use me. Don't let me rot in guilt and survival. Don't let me just float. You know this universe in ways I never can. You know every corner of it. So You must know the one place where this exact wiring of mine can become meaningful." This wasn't surrender from pain. It was surrender from trying to control something I've clearly never understood. I don't need peace. I don't need success. I need to be used. Fully. For something only this kind of life, this kind of mind, could contribute. If I am a tool, let me build something. If I am a flame, let me burn where light is needed. But don't keep me in the dark asking, "Why me?" Maybe I wasn't built to ask. I was built to be assigned.