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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sat, May 9, 2015
WARNING:::::::: About Depression and things, but there is a silver lining Jump, skip, step, fall. There are a million ways to do it; I just needed to pick one. But I couldnt, its not that simple, I couldn't pick. I couldn't. Why? I don't know. You'd think it would be straight forward, wouldn't you? Pick a way that suits your mood? Well I'm depressed, and I didn't know if I wanted to live. Now you're asking, how can you not know if you want to live or not, isn't it obvious? No. Its not. I wanted to live, but not like the way I was then. Maybe I should formally introduce myself. Hi, I'm Imogen (people call me Immy), I'm 17 and I'm in my 1st year of college, and I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy. I have friends, sort of, they're not the kind of people I'd trust my life with, but they' there... sometimes. My family isn't all that bad either. Mum and dad are still together and I have an older sister. It's not a fully functional family, but then again, whose is? My point is, I don't know why I feel like this, I don't really have a good reason. My school referred my to a 'specialist'. I don't know whats special about them though. The 'specialists' gave up and sent me to a residential centre for "people like me". Basically a social experiment to see if they put all the kids with social anxiety in a room together, they'd be fixed. Needless to say, it didn't work, we're all still confused as to how staying at Ploegman is going to help. (Ploegman is the name of the centre, they call it a centre, its more like a prison. We aren't allowed to go out of the building and we cant listen to music or watch youtube. I don't think i'll last here long, but still, its two weeks off school so who cares?
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Fml

"Are you ok?" "What's wrong?" "Are you sad?" "Everything will be okay". Honestly, I'm not okay, what's wrong? Everything! And why am I sad? Because I can't handle anything anymore and NOTHING will be okay. I don't know why I always need to lie to everyone about me, it's not like they could understand anyways. Who's been by my side? Well people obviously, but none of them can know what I think! How I feel! How could they anyways, it's not like my life is a book that people can just read and understand... Who am I? An emotional girl who is exaggerating right now? Haha! NO. I'm actually Anne, and I'm fourteen. I guess that I'm a social teen, always looking happy and approchable. Well not lately...But you'll get to that part at some point. I'm an "average teen" like some people say. Well I honestly don't know. I'm always tired, depressed stressed, but some say that that's normal. Of course because my life isn't complicated at all...Maybe I imagine things? All these years and I've always kept things inside, of course I have friends, but they can't hear my thoughts and know everything in my pathetic life. So that's why I've decided "Well why not write in a diary? Maybe it will help? Or something" I have no idea if it actually helps, but it might...At least it's something I can open up to. To talk about my suicidal thoughts, my depression, my self-harm issues and my eating disorder... On that note.... Bye.... Fml :) Anne

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