Gen Z mafia

Life? Oh, it's a scam. That's the most polite way I can put it. Don't let the Pinterest quotes or that one overly positive aunt on Facebook fool you. There's literally nothing fair about this planet. And before someone tries to chirp in with, "But what about your basic human rights?"-girl, please. Those are just the starter pack. They don't count when the whole system is already glitched.

From the moment you're out the womb, it's like-bam! Smile for the camera, sweetie! Even if you're dying inside, better slap on that "I'm totally fine" filter and go. Mental breakdowns? Cute. Just make sure you do it quietly in your room and not during dinner with relatives who think therapy is "for weak people."

Let me talk about my town. Hell on Earth, but with fewer Starbucks. I swear I had more emotional intelligence in third grade than our entire high school football team combined. Like, I'm out here journaling my trauma, and these dudes are still laughing at butt jokes like it's revolutionary comedy. Sir. We are not in sixth grade anymore. Grow up.

And no shade (all shade), but if your personality is still based on making fart noises with your armpit, it might be time to revisit some childhood trauma. We get it. Your dad left for milk and never came back. That sucks. But I promise you, making "your mom" jokes during math class isn't the therapy you think it is.