I felt like I was trapped. Trapped inside my body. I wanted to escape but I couldn't. It was like I had chains tied to me, locking me down, to prevent me from escaping this dead body, to prevent me to open up and see the real world, to prevent me from living...
Everyone was constantly asking me questions. Asking me what was wrong with me, rumours going around school. I'm the person they all talk about. Me. It feels like somethings growing in side me...a-a monster that wants to hurt me, that wants to slowly kill me.
Maybe it's trying to break free too. Maybe he wants to see the world, just like me. He wants to know whats going on, maybe he wants to be normal. That's why he's hurting me. It feels like I'm slowly dissolving in the tears that I produce.
The tears that nobody notices. Only me. I'm the one who has to wipe them away and tell myself I'll be alright. but really I'm not going to be alright, I just keep getting thinner and thinner. What am I talking about. I'm slowly melting.
My white, weak bones, slowly digging a hole through my thin skin and sticking out. You can see my ribs. That can't be good, Mum tries to send me to them help groups. It never works though. They're all depressed, people think we have the same problems but we don't. We're all completely different.
I was, sad, lonely, depressed. That's until he came into my life and turned it upside down. He saved me. He helped me, he actually listened and stopped me from being...
'Torn'
"You trust me, don't you?" he says with a smile, that smile. It had fooled everyone, even me at some point, and for the first time I want to scream with rage and shake the earth to the core.
"Give me a hug," he says pulling me out of the chair that feels like a rock underneath me. I am as stiff as a board as his hands circle me, making me feel worse than dirt. His hands reach between my thighs and I want to plunge a knife deep through his chest. The only thing stopping me is, the knife is no where near.
I pull back and I don't try to hide the anger in my eyes. I want him to see it. To know that I am coming for him. Rape is chanted repeatedly in my mind, reminding of the lies I just told and the false accusations I am throwing on innocent people. He's probably figured it out anyways, surely a Priest as high as he cannot be deceived.
But none of that matters anymore because......
This is just the Beginning.