hate to be lame | geum seung-je

there's a saying about love and hate. how there exists a line between the two emotions. one extreme to the other, complete opposites in every which way. and yet, it's possible that with just the slightest nudge in either direction, you find yourself unable to distinguish between one or the other.

you used to think that saying was complete and utter bullshit.

when you loathe someone so reverently, so passionately, how could it ever be mistaken for love? how can one feel every waking bone in their body recoil at the sight of their figure and consider it the same as melting beneath a gentle caress, leaning into their tender touch? how can imagining your hands around their neck, squeezing all the air from their lungs, compare to pressing one's lips against the other, greedily taking their breaths as your own?

you suppose, begrudgingly so, that there are similarities. the way the person consumes your thoughts like a virus. how unknowingly, your words and actions revolve around their own routine. but to go so far as to say your hatred is the same as affection? that's a line you cannot cross.

so then why? why does that barrier blur when an arrogant boy suddenly takes space in your life? why does the way his words sink beneath your skin, his actions igniting a raging fire in your chest, make you second guess the way you feel about him?

you hate him. that much is for sure. there's no doubt about it. it's just the way the world is. a simple fact about the universe.

but the more you try to convince yourself of such a matter, the more vague the truth becomes. because as much as you wish to punch the smug smile off of geum seung-je's face, you can't deny how the thought of kissing him would work just as well.

and achingly so, your heart wants one more than the other.