Where Have You Been All My Life?
- Reads 17
- Votes 2
- Parts 3
Ongoing9m
Last published Sat, Sep 21, 2013
I was 14 years old at the time and my name is Kendy. Some would say that I am head over heels in love at the moment, but it has only been a little over a month. Truth is, I have liked him for a good two years, and I didn’t expect him asking me out in this lifetime. Being so sure of this, I began talking to another boy who later broke my heart into a million pieces just to ask me out a few days into this relationship. I should’ve taken that very moment as a sign that more was yet to come. As usual, I never see the plainest of signs placed right in front of my face. How could one not see the flirting, rumors, texts, and conversations that lead up to a person liking you? That’s the many wonders of my mind I will never know. Subliminal or hidden messages I cannot see. Maybe I look too hard, or think the easy outcome isn’t the correct one. What’s wrong with me?
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When I was young, I always was that boy that was misunderstood. I would be the one with the girly voice. I was timid. I was the one who would want the boys to chase me, threatening me with a kiss, not the girls. I was the one who didn’t understand why I was this way. As I entered middle school, I felt it come more often. Seeing the guys in gym or feel them smack me on the butt teasingly, I didn’t want to just be friendly, I wanted to be more than friends. I was still so confused. It was only lonely days then. Now I am in high school, I am a junior. I fully understand what I am. I don’t like it. I want to like girls so badly. I am just not normal. I try to stay out of the scene. He gives me confidence. He may not know me, but I am destined to try. He is fully open about his sexuality. Everyone knows of the monster that is inside of his mind. I know it has taunted him for years. I want to be like him. I want to let everyone know what I am, so I can attract more like me. But even more than that, I want him. I want Camden. I want him so bad it pains me to be in his presence and not hug him. I want him so bad.
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