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My Joys Of Life Journal

My Joys Of Life Journal

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sat, May 24, 2025
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Non-Fiction
This is basically my crashout Journal, because therapy is expensive...... I'm going to try to show a different side of me that I'm too afraid to show to the people that I know in real life. My thoughts, feelings, & explaining some of my far from good habits. I don't know, just sometimes I feel like I need to let off a good rant. I will try not to use people's real names. ⚠️warning⚠️ ⚠️my spelling and grammar is super bad⚠️ ⚠️might talk about depressing topics⚠️ " Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It's not your whole story." - S.C. Lourie "Dealing with depression effectively is a mark not of weakness, but of your strength." - SAMHSA
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It was October 2023, and my now-ex-fiance had moved out of our trailer for good. I decided to end our relationship and thought I had emotionally moved on from them. I was wrong-dead wrong. What followed them moving out was something I could not have ever thought to experience. I began to experience extreme mood swings, controlling behavior, self-esteem issues, and a new-found addiction to alcohol. This was just the tip of the iceberg, as I was constantly flirting with suicide on a daily basis. I could not begin to even tell you about how I went through an emo phase, a "man hoe" phase, and multiple other phases as well due to my deteriorating mental health. I began to document my everyday life after our split through two separate journals over a twelve-month span. This is the true tale of how a breakup brought me to the realization that I was an abuser and that I became the same monster that I swore not to become as a kid. This is how trauma ruined my life, and how it will ruin yours too.

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