Story cover for How To Talk To Aliens by EmPost14
How To Talk To Aliens
  • WpView
    Reads 354
  • WpVote
    Votes 47
  • WpPart
    Parts 8
  • WpHistory
    Time 15m
  • WpView
    Reads 354
  • WpVote
    Votes 47
  • WpPart
    Parts 8
  • WpHistory
    Time 15m
Ongoing, First published May 10, 2015
How to talk to aliens. 

Step 1) Start a friendly conversation 

Step 2) Ask them if they have seen any good movies lately

Step 3) If they answer,  tell them that it's you favorite movie even if you hate it with a burning passion (you don't want to get abducted)

Step 4) Ask them about their day and what they are going to do 

Step 5) If they say anything about  the abduction of little girls, destroying Earth, conquering Earth, or eating brains... then do step 6. 
Because you are either talking to a zombie... drunk... Or having a stroke. 
All three at the same time is possible too. 

Step 6) RUN BITCH RUN !!!! 

Step 7) Go to an authority, or the police. 

Step 8) Get sent to an insane asylum for being crazy.

Step 9) Watch you planet get taken over by aliens. Or watch it get destroyed by them. 

Step 10) Die... or become one of them. (you don't really have a choice)
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Rule #1: Never be alone, have someone always with you, no matter where you are. Rule #2: Don't acknowledged their presence or you'll give them the satisfaction of them scaring you. Rule #3: Always, and I mean Always have a crucifix with you no matter where you are. Rule #4: Pray every night, every day, when you eat, and when you sleep. Keep faith. Rule #5: Don't let them get to you. They'll destroy your sanity and everything you believe in. They'll break you down until you're nothing. Rule #6: Lastly, don't be afraid. ***EDITING IN PROCESS (IGNORE THE 'EDITED' THING AT THE BEGINNING OF CHAPTERS, THE ONLY CHAPTERS I HAVE EDITED ARE ONE AND TWO)***