How To Talk To Aliens
- Reads 366
- Votes 47
- Parts 8
Ongoing15m
Last published Thu, Jun 18, 2015
How to talk to aliens.
Step 1) Start a friendly conversation
Step 2) Ask them if they have seen any good movies lately
Step 3) If they answer, tell them that it's you favorite movie even if you hate it with a burning passion (you don't want to get abducted)
Step 4) Ask them about their day and what they are going to do
Step 5) If they say anything about the abduction of little girls, destroying Earth, conquering Earth, or eating brains... then do step 6.
Because you are either talking to a zombie... drunk... Or having a stroke.
All three at the same time is possible too.
Step 6) RUN BITCH RUN !!!!
Step 7) Go to an authority, or the police.
Step 8) Get sent to an insane asylum for being crazy.
Step 9) Watch you planet get taken over by aliens. Or watch it get destroyed by them.
Step 10) Die... or become one of them. (you don't really have a choice)
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Gone Too Far (PoliceOfficer x Delinquent Relationship) BOOK 1
M is for Manipulative. A is for Attitude. I is for Impulsive. S is for Sarcastic. I is for Irresistible. E is for Emotionally unavailable. Put them all together and you get me - Maisie Scarlett Brooks. And yeah, I'm exactly the girl your parents warned you about. Growing up, they tell you the safest thing to do in a messed-up situation is walk away. Whether it's a toxic person or a bad party, you're supposed to listen to that little voice in your head - your conscience - and leave. -Mine booked a one-way flight to the Bermuda Triangle and never looked back. I'm the girl who tells you it's fine to take the pills - "just once." The one who throws parties that end in cops, crying, or chaos - usually all three. I'll invite you out, ghost you halfway through, and leave you stranded in a field without cell service. Don't say I didn't warn you. I didn't care about much. I didn't have much to give. Maybe you'd see things differently if you knew what I've been through. The kind of things you don't come back from without turning a little bit... cracked. Then came the night of the binge. The drive. The flashing lights. And suddenly, I wasn't just trouble - I was in it. "Maisie Scarlett Brooks, what were you thinking?!" "I was thinking it was time to go to bed. Instead, I got pulled over by some obnoxious police officer." This is the story of a girl who's been through hell, set it on fire, and is still standing in the ashes - smirking. Meet Maisie. She's a beautiful disaster, and she's not sorry.Complete![Damsel[ed]: No Rescue Required](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/59890819-256-k125283.jpg)
Damsel[ed]: No Rescue Required
***FINISHED! AND FULLY UPLOADED*** "Your friend was right," the villain says, tilting her chin towards the moon. My mouth's on autopilot now as I mentally uncurl from the fetal position. "Uh, first, why do you know my friends? Second, about what?" Her eyes light up like jack-o'-lanterns. "You're adorable when you're scared out of your mind." ***Now a Wattpad featured story*** Having superpowers is awesome, unless you're Angelos Fibbs. When a kidnap attempt leaves him with incredible superpowers and a price on his head, this one-liner-loving dork must choose: hurt or be hurt. Supervillain or damsel in distress. He's a lover, not a telekinetic black-leather-wearing killer, and he wants to keep it that way. The fates of his best friends hang in the balance, and if he can't face his biggest fears, he'll become a pawn to a powerful underground whose dark intentions could destroy his city, and possibly, the world. Life just got messy for the clean-freak super. WARNING: Mild swearing, and a 'spit' load of dorky alternatives. Nerdy humor, cliffhangers, plot twists, fights, and a love triangle so complex it's more or less a love blob. May cause spontaneous shipping. Also includes enough Star Wars references to make George Lucas cringe. Read at your own risk. COMPLETE *** Highest ranking #1 in Adventure on July 8, 2016Complete
Static
{COMPLETED} "now that you've had your fun electrocuting me, would you care to hop in the backseat?" ---------------------------------------------------------- Freak DNA. That's what I like to call it. The fault to my genetic code. More often than not, it's a curse. The static running through my blood gave me a name. A cruel, daunting label of a measly bug. A roach. That's what I am to them, to the government. Roach; the nameless monster with electricity for a sense and lightening as a second nature. It ruined my life, the sparking currents playing tag in my mind, running around and bumping into everything, shaking me loose. The government, actually. They ruined my life. My curse just gave them a reason. You see, the normal population with ordinary DNA, they don't know about the people like me. The roaches of the world. We don't get that kind of recognition at the camps. There, we are only one thing in the military's eyes. We are weapons and we will act like it. Everyone else out there, bathing in the goodness they don't know they've got, they don't know about the roaches their stepping on. As long as their getting closer to the sky, they don't care what they stand on to reach it. They don't know about the sparkling dreamer that's killed 7 people before her 17th birthday. They don't about the ghost of a girl peaking around corners for her entire life because even home wasn't safe. They don't know about the fighter of steel and iron sucking on his bloody lip courtesy of the wars he battles in as nothing but a shadow. They don't know about the masked villain who would do anything to see the army they lead claim the throne They don't know about us. But they will, because we will rise. And when we arrive, we will arrive violently. ___________________________________________ Started: 10.06.15 Finished: 3.17.16Complete
Waiting Shapeless
*Completed* Ranked #1 in alienplanet in Jan 20 2020 Please, LISTEN TO ME!! I know you think I'm crazy and I know they told you I'm dangerous, but you have to just listen!! My people are dying! They are being killed, ruthlessly slaughtered by the millions!! I know exactly who is doing it too-but it doesn't make any sense. I don't understand why they are doing it. Please help me, help us!! To whoever gets this message, I can't do anything from here-please! I am begging you!! Please-just get me off this damn planet!! [END TRANSMISSION] ------------------- Earth is not alone in harboring life. The galaxies and universes have been opened, and all the intelligent beings residing in them have been connected and unified with each other. It has been over a million years since the Pentaverse, a cluster of five neighboring universes, was organized and unified. Now, hundreds of otherworldly species live in relative harmony with the one another. The unification was good for many species, but for some species, the change caused unexpected extinction. As a team of the Conservation of Species Committee investigates a mysterious decrease in the population of a robotic species, they stumble upon something that could potentially result in the destruction of the entire Pentaverse. This is not your average Wattpad story about how the 'bad boy meets the good girl'. This book is about a series of mysteries that begin to unfold as you read and travel through space with a group of unsuspecting aliens. This story will make you laugh, it will shock you, surprise you, and it will leave you hungry for more-all the way to the last word. Be aware, there are some adult themes in this book including drinking, swearing, love making, death, and murder. None of those topics are explored too deeply however, so I do not think it is appropriate to give this book a 'mature' rating. *********** @2020wattyawardsComplete
Sanctuary
I'm a vampire hunter. Nothing is more important than keeping humans safe from the things that haunt their nightmares. It's what I was born to do. So when I hear that a body has turned up that looks a lot like bodies from a previous hunt, I fly to investigate. There's just two problems. One is that I killed the vampire responsible for those deaths. The second? The new body turned up in the home country of the one man who can ignite my temper faster than anyone else. Just when I think it couldn't get any worse, a simple touch has my demon claiming that he is my mate. Things just got a whole lot more complicated. Tall, curvy, brunette with hazel eyes that change from almost totally green to deep brown depending on her mood, she is the one woman that has me wanting to shake her one moment and kiss her senseless the next. She's the one woman I can never have, and the only one I truly want. But when a body turns up that looks like the bodies from a case of hers, I have no choice but to call her in to help find the killer. On top of that, the touch of her hand on my arm is enough for my demon to start claiming her as my mate. Then as if things weren't already complicated enough, I find out that I have a daughter when her mother is killed and the child's rescuers find me. So now I have to get to know my daughter, convince my mate to accept me, and deal with a demon that has a one track mind about protecting its mate, even though she can look after herself way better than I can. All while tracking down a vampire that thinks I killed her sister and is out for revenge. Piece of cake. Right?Complete
Still Searching
Earth found a portal to a different world. A world they want to tame. So what do they do? They take as many citizens as they can spare and make an army. They send them through the portal, telling them to slaughter the creatures that live there. Techno really doesn't want to do what the government asked him to do. But if he wants to go back to Earth he has to. Then of course they do him dirty and he now has to look after one of the creatures. His hair reminds him of the sun of Earth and he's loud. OR Tommy is an alien Techno gets an attachment to and Techno has to decide if he's willing to leave Earth behind forever, or watch his new friend get experimented on.Complete
❝𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐒」 𝐁𝐋❞ (Hiatus)
❝𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮,𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬❞ ʸᵃⁿᵈᵉʳᵉ ˢᵘᵖᵉʳⁿᵃᵗᵘʳᵃˡˢ ˣ ᵐᵃˡᵉ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ Turns out, Aliens are real, and they recently just discovered your planet. With their rule came a prosperous life. With their rule also came creatures your kind thought were just myths. 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒍𝒇𝒔,𝑴𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒅𝒔,𝑺𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒔,𝑬𝒍𝒇𝒔,𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔. And you? You're just a human, yet that didn't stop them from 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 you, Royalty And Not Alike. You hated them...yet they loved you, genuine or not 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙧𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 they aren't scared of your wrath they're scared of 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔. ʳᵉᵛᵉʳˢᵉ ʰᵃʳᵉᵐ ɪᴍᴀɢᴇs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴍᴀʏ ᴜsᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪs sᴛᴏʀʏ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ
In the grip of the Alien
#1 in paranormal [20.11.2024] #2 in fiction [22.10.2024] #2 in paranormal-romance [2.1.2025] #4 in scifi-romance [14.11.2024] #5 in steamy [14.1.2025] ✅️Updating ❗️NOTE: The story takes its time to establish a rich, complex world before the main characters meet. It is a slow burn, but worth it. ~ After a devastating alien invasion leaves Earth in ruins, humanity struggles to survive in isolated zones, clinging to life behind barriers of failing technology. Lena, a skilled engineer with fierce determination, dedicates her life to maintaining what little remains of this protective technology-especially the light posts that keep the Xyvarians at bay. But when a search for medicine pulls her outside the safe zone, she encounters a certain alien. Towering, muscular, and adorned with sharp, curving horns, this alien is a calculated hunter, though his interest in Lena is anything but logical. Drawn to her, he pursues her in a dangerous game of cat and mouse, one that blurs the line between predator and prey. As Lena fights to evade capture, the tension between them ignites into a charged, forbidden attraction that neither can fully understand. He is unlike any alien she's ever faced-Machiavellian, dangerous, unyielding, yet inexplicably captivated by her. Lena, wary and unwilling to surrender, finds herself both repelled and fascinated by the Xyvarian who watches her with a gaze that burns with something far more primal. As she grapples with confusing desires and the disturbing revelation of a breeding program, Lena is forced to question everything-her survival, her humanity, and her heart. ~ (The artwork featured in my cover photo was sourced from Pinterest. I do not own the original artwork; I have only added the title and a few design details.)
M is for Manipulative. A is for Attitude. I is for Impulsive. S is for Sarcastic. I is for Irresistible. E is for Emotionally unavailable. Put them all together and you get me - Maisie Scarlett Brooks. And yeah, I'm exactly the girl your parents warned you about. Growing up, they tell you the safest thing to do in a messed-up situation is walk away. Whether it's a toxic person or a bad party, you're supposed to listen to that little voice in your head - your conscience - and leave. -Mine booked a one-way flight to the Bermuda Triangle and never looked back. I'm the girl who tells you it's fine to take the pills - "just once." The one who throws parties that end in cops, crying, or chaos - usually all three. I'll invite you out, ghost you halfway through, and leave you stranded in a field without cell service. Don't say I didn't warn you. I didn't care about much. I didn't have much to give. Maybe you'd see things differently if you knew what I've been through. The kind of things you don't come back from without turning a little bit... cracked. Then came the night of the binge. The drive. The flashing lights. And suddenly, I wasn't just trouble - I was in it. "Maisie Scarlett Brooks, what were you thinking?!" "I was thinking it was time to go to bed. Instead, I got pulled over by some obnoxious police officer." This is the story of a girl who's been through hell, set it on fire, and is still standing in the ashes - smirking. Meet Maisie. She's a beautiful disaster, and she's not sorry.
More detailsContent Guidelines