Dead Funny (ON HOLD) - Aegumenti - Wattpad

Dead Funny (ON HOLD)

Reads 155
Votes 18
Parts 5
Time 1h 23m

Reads 155
Votes 18
Parts 5
Time 1h 23m

death love murder psycho psychopath puns

You know that one thing that just makes you tick? Untied shoelaces, nail biting, chewing with an open mouth? You know how you just want to strangle that person? 
Well, Brandon is like that. Quite literally. Of course, the person who annoyed him isn't complaining - they're too busy being dead.
Brought up in a harsh environment, living mainly in the streets is Brandon's way of life. He knows nothing else than the street rules, and the street rules are no rules. Slowly slipping into madness is nothing when you're still alive, right? 
Brandons's falling, then he sees her. She's everything, and she's his only reason for sanity. Can she pull him out of his mind before he's arrested, lost, or even worse; killed?


**Contains strong language**All Rights Reserved

death love murder psycho psychopath puns

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Tormenting Mr.Gangster by misssmileyShine

"Or I could just slice you pretty little neck right away and end this chapter here" he whispered dangerously in her ear. "You could, but then you would have to take care of two dead bodies instead of one, buy two coffins, two headstones, arrange for two places in the graveyard, organise two funerals etc... etc... it's kind of expensive you know especially considering the global financial crisis going on" she desperately tried to reason him, waiting for the right time to spray him and get the hell out of here. He chuckled at her attempts to reason him. "Or I could just throw your body over the nearest bridge and save me all the trouble of the funerals as you so rightly stated " he whispered coldly making her shudder. *** Tormenting Mr.Gansgter is about A gangster with a purpose... A lady who didn't ask for anything... Some curses... A little bit of shyness... And a great deal of sarcasm ! Collab ff with the wonderful Seerat for those who know her ;)

Until I Find My Star by Jenikim7

I limped towards the kitchen after sending him an email, that I'm on leave today. I couldn't even able to walk properly as I was feeling sore down there, just thinking about what happened yesterday was enough to make me trembling down with fear. He was rough, way too rough. He didn't even mind that I was on my 5th day of my menstrual period. For him it's all about him and his needs. He will never change. My lips wobbled as I cleared my tears as it started to flow down. Entering the kitchen, I took the glass of water gulping it down furiously to calm my racing heartbeat. I took another and another as my throat was itching and hurting with all that screaming. I gasped while keeping the glass in the sink. I won't be going to office today not after his brutality. I don't have enough strength to face him. I just can't... He's an animal and I don't think I can even stay in the same room as him even though he had done this so many times, yesterday he went too far. He crossed his limits and I don't want to see his face. I just hate him so much. As I stood holding the sink, a thought crossed my mind, why life is so cruel to me? What did I do to receive these? Why did I ended up with him? I just want to live normally. I sighed brushing my open hair, thinking about my miserable life. I shook my head, tying my hair in a bun. I turned around to leave the kitchen only to get startled by him. Him? My eyes widened at the realisation as gasped left my mouth in horror at the sight of him. What? He's here. It means... he never left. And the worst part is he's also looking at me with that look on his face. Lust filled eyes. Will he ever leave me alone? ------------------------- ⚠️WARNING: IT CONTAINS ABUSIVE DARK ROMANCE AND FORCED MATURED CONTENT. -------------------------- Highest Rankings:- #1 Random - 26/10/2023 #2 Zaddy- 5/01/2024 #2 Badboy - 26/02/2024 #4 Indian - 26/02/2024 #5 Obsessed - 16/02/2024 DO NOT COPY MY WORK PLEASE!

The Outcast by ihareemnisar

"Will you just shut up" !!!!! I shouted loudly turning towards her ,she was literally getting on my nerves now "Don't you dare shout at me...You brought me into this mess", She shouted equally loudly at me The pitch of her voice was shattering my eardrums and I was on the verge of literally killing her now.She was so tiny yet hell annoying The bulb to the patience area in my mind suddenly got switched off and I abruptly pushed her into the alley wall bringing our faces real close to both our comfort levels "Listen to me you little brat and listen good...My fuckin patience is hanging on a thin thread so if you want your annoying little self to stay alive and might I add in one piece I suggest you shut your filthy shithole" I whispered in her ear lowly making her shiver knowing already that no doubt the shiver came purely from the fear she felt from me and not anything sexual..Good....She should fear me I wasn't the one to be trusted I wasn't the one to be loved I am not a person you should take lightly I am the one you don't want to mess with I am the one you don't want to piss off if you don't want your existence to be utterly painful I am Dominick Slade And I am The Outcast......

Bliss by Baily_xx

Just your basic 'He's the bad boy and she's the girl next door', type of story. Okay, Maybe not. It's more like 'He's a crazy, violent, anger prone lunatic and she's the girl next ward', but hey, they're pretty much the same thing, right? Wrong. -------------------------------- He leans in closer so I can feel his warm breath fanning across my face. "Why?" I ask softly. Staring into his eyes, urging him, begging him to spill all his deepest, darkest secrets. He gives me a half smile. "Because, you fascinate me." He says shortly. I'm lost for words, he's so close now I can almost taste the scent of his spearmint breath. I gulp. Slowly he raises a hand and cups the side of my face gently. "You, wear insanity like an accessory, you make it lust worthy and desirable. That's why." -------------------------------

The experiment. by shrosz

They used my vulnerability against me. They used that weapon, to make me accept their stupid idea. And I of course, accepted it, I didn't even know what they were going to do. They tugged and poked and even shoved their disgusting finger in your wound, just to see you cry. To see you change. No pitty in their eyes. They just continue. They drag you around with metal chains, hit you and turn you into a experiment. But I had enough of the tugging, the clawing, the moaning, the crying and pleading for them to stop, but simply feeding them with our pain. They turned me into something, that neither do they know what I am. Their afraid of me, of my reflexes, my strength. I killed a lot of them. They say I have a cold heart, that I don't feel nothing. That's why they call me: Death -----------------------------------------************************************--------------------------------------------- Death. A teen girl, pitch black hair, black eyes, white skin. Her height is 5'8. People are scared of her, not just because of her strength but because of they way she kills. She lived in this hell hole, where they take her to rooms. Examine. Fight. She knows she won't be able to entertain them for long. She decides to run. Soul. Brown hair as mud, blue eyes as the sky. Hight 6'2. Tanned and toned body. Death's best friend in the hell hole they're in, he's as cold as she is. But shows a bit of sympathy. Well... More than her at least. He's been there for her, ever since she entered this place of crap. They're the two most feared. As some people say, they're a perfect couple. Killing. Fighting. Cold hearted creatures. Also known as D and S. Why? That's what your going to find out, joining this adventure with D and S.

Crime and Chaos [ ᴊᴏᴋᴇʀ ] by house_of_gia

Juliet Evans is stuck in Gotham with her mother after her father commits suicide. Photography becomes her solace, where she captures the chaotic essence of Gotham City in all its twisted glory. When she films a violent bank heist led by the Joker and his gang, her hobby unknowingly thrusts her into danger. This encounter begins the relationship between Julie and the Joker, filled with violence and desire. ✧.* #1 in #darkknight ! ✧.*𝐓𝐃𝐊 𝐉𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧✧.*

Introverted Killer by BeautifulJosea

There's a mystery guy named Brandon but also known as "Murky". He's silent to most and very unapproachable at his new school. When he's out of school he is a totally different person. No one knows that he's the best professional killer in the game. Anyone that he ALLOWS to hire him never had a problem. Especially, the ones who make his pockets bigger. No one even knows what "Murky" looks like. People only know Brandon but they don't know Brandon is Murky. What happens when a gorgeous girl in school named Mahani meets Brandon? Even though she was going through struggles of her own she had become curious about Brandon. She became the only female other than his mother and aunt that could get close to him. It only made her fall more in love with his introverted character. What happens when she finds out his other name? Everyone talks about this killer "Murky" but no one knows who he is, that's what makes it more mysterious. He got his name from the dark and gruesome murders he's done. The people that know him noticed how he walks around not talking to anyone looking mean and depressed. He's not understood. It's like all you have to do is talk to him in a regular conversation. He only speaks when spoken to but is very discreet and no one can explain his personality because he's so questionable and strange. There are only a few who really knows the true him. Mahani doesn't like this assassin named Murky. She thinks he killed her brother. She didn't know why her brother ended up dead but she do know someone had killed him. To Murky it's either kill or be killed but can she forgive the man she loves for an inexorable barbarous act? *Currently Revising.

of the worst dolor by dammie163

he carried the lil baby girl paving around trying to stop her from crying. she never stopped and he started to get worried. she soon stopped and he sighed satisfied. he dropped her on her little bed as she kept mute. he went up to get her food. just then, he heard a loud scream and hurried down. he met his aunt with her baby crying. she turned in anger only to find him making food for her baby. what the hell have you done again? she yelled in tears. he was puzzled. nothing. he stammered and she hit him hard on his face. you killed her! she yelled and he staggered backwards in shock. I've always bren a barren all my life and fortunately, I have birth and now, u killed her. she said calmly in tears. I don't want to see you hear by the time I return. you're useless and worthless!! she shot her heart up and walked right pass him. hot years streamed down his face as he left.

MARACLEA••• (Nigel Colbie x reader) by whore4morpheus

raised in a church her entire life, y/n yearned for adventure outside of stupid acts for a simple rush of adrenaline. she wanted to run from cops, steal, drink, party, and have sex. she wanted a life worth living, and that was granted once Nigel came and ruined her and her brother's lives. it was worth it. she wanted to be his, and he wanted her to be his Maraclea. (IK HE IS A PSYCHO MURDERER, BUT OML I LOVE TOM STURRIDGE AND NIGEL IS SO FINE I COULD RANT FOR DAYS!) -ALSO THERE IS LITERALLY 1 SINGULAR STORY ON THIS SEXY MURDER FREAK SMUT WARNING 18+ (IK Y'ALL 14 YR OLDS OUT THERE IDC IF U READ😭) ANGST VIOLENCE GORE ETC

PSYCHO!!!!!!⛓️(DEADLY OBSESSION????)j.jk by sayeka9294

## A famous businessman , people think of his as an idol, they wants to be like him, a gentleman , kind hearted person but in reality he a dangerous psycho Mafia King....who only knows how to torture people mercilessly.... He's not a human, he's a DEMON living in humans body..... The words Kindness, Marcy, helping,pity, doesn't exist in his dictionary..... He's a complete Psychopath... He use women's for his pleasure, for his hunger and after satisfying his inner beast he just torture them Mercilessly... HE'S A MONSTER WHO LOVE'S TO HUNT PEOPLE'S... ##A girl who's exactly opposite of him... she's the most soft Hearted person, kind but not weak or inocent..., She's a walking RED FLAG..... She's mentally and physically very strong...she has a dark childhood.... but she's strong..., that word INOCENT doesn't exist in her dictionary ..... she's a unholy butt uk... but she's pure just her mind is little bit dirty... and many more things u will get to know about her... (✿⁠) He is the nightmare of her life meanwhile she's the fuel on the fire.... ####what will happen when this two opposite worlds will meet... and got obsessed with each other...... what will happened when a PSYCHOPATH will fall in love or maybe got obsessed with her.... will he became normal or make her like him........ let's see... ???? _________ WARNING ⚠️ _________ ##mature content 🔞 ## abuse.., sexual concept ##murder, many more things will happened.. ##if u r soft Hearted person then please don't read.. #This is my first story... I'll try my best #English is not my 1st language so forgive me for my grammatical mistake......( ꈍᴗꈍ)( ꈍᴗꈍ) Enjoy the story..... DON'T COPY MY WORK...=_= ???? THANK YOU ????

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Slide 1 of 10

Tormenting Mr.Gangster cover

Until I Find My Star cover

The Outcast cover

The experiment. cover

Crime and Chaos [ ᴊᴏᴋᴇʀ ] cover

Introverted Killer cover

of the worst dolor cover

MARACLEA••• (Nigel Colbie x reader) cover

PSYCHO!!!!!!⛓️(DEADLY OBSESSION????)j.jk cover

Tormenting Mr.Gangster

"Or I could just slice you pretty little neck right away and end this chapter here" he whispered dangerously in her ear. "You could, but then you would have to take care of two dead bodies instead of one, buy two coffins, two headstones, arrange for two places in the graveyard, organise two funerals etc... etc... it's kind of expensive you know especially considering the global financial crisis going on" she desperately tried to reason him, waiting for the right time to spray him and get the hell out of here. He chuckled at her attempts to reason him. "Or I could just throw your body over the nearest bridge and save me all the trouble of the funerals as you so rightly stated " he whispered coldly making her shudder. *** Tormenting Mr.Gansgter is about A gangster with a purpose... A lady who didn't ask for anything... Some curses... A little bit of shyness... And a great deal of sarcasm ! Collab ff with the wonderful Seerat for those who know her ;)