Dead Funny (ON HOLD) - Aegumenti - Wattpad

Dead Funny (ON HOLD)

Reads 155
Votes 18
Parts 5
Time 1h 23m

Reads 155
Votes 18
Parts 5
Time 1h 23m

death love murder psycho psychopath puns

You know that one thing that just makes you tick? Untied shoelaces, nail biting, chewing with an open mouth? You know how you just want to strangle that person? 
Well, Brandon is like that. Quite literally. Of course, the person who annoyed him isn't complaining - they're too busy being dead.
Brought up in a harsh environment, living mainly in the streets is Brandon's way of life. He knows nothing else than the street rules, and the street rules are no rules. Slowly slipping into madness is nothing when you're still alive, right? 
Brandons's falling, then he sees her. She's everything, and she's his only reason for sanity. Can she pull him out of his mind before he's arrested, lost, or even worse; killed?


**Contains strong language**All Rights Reserved

death love murder psycho psychopath puns

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5 parts

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Hey Idiot! (#2) by ameesaAhlam

The whole cricketing world knew that they both are family friends. But Ella, Nelson and the word 'friend' doesn't fit in the same sentence. They hated each other. Since Childhood. They grew up together, practised together, fought each other, taunted each other and then finally seperated ways with them becoming the captain of their respective teams. Forced to face each other once in every year on an annual family dinner, they didn't realise that just another simple family dinner on just another normal day could change a lot. No one can unite them until destiny decides to take matters into its own hands. Cause when destiny wants to unite two hearts...it won't stop at any cost. __________________________________________________ This time, he again took a step forward and when I decided to move back, my back hit the wall and he caged me in between his arms. "Kiss me." "Wha-what?!" "Kiss me Ella." "Why on earth would I ever kiss you?!" "Cause I can't get you out of my fucking mind!" ___________________________________________________ The detailed description is inside. (In case you are wondering why the hell there's a hashtag next to the title, numbering it...go read my bio.)

The experiment. by shrosz

They used my vulnerability against me. They used that weapon, to make me accept their stupid idea. And I of course, accepted it, I didn't even know what they were going to do. They tugged and poked and even shoved their disgusting finger in your wound, just to see you cry. To see you change. No pitty in their eyes. They just continue. They drag you around with metal chains, hit you and turn you into a experiment. But I had enough of the tugging, the clawing, the moaning, the crying and pleading for them to stop, but simply feeding them with our pain. They turned me into something, that neither do they know what I am. Their afraid of me, of my reflexes, my strength. I killed a lot of them. They say I have a cold heart, that I don't feel nothing. That's why they call me: Death -----------------------------------------************************************--------------------------------------------- Death. A teen girl, pitch black hair, black eyes, white skin. Her height is 5'8. People are scared of her, not just because of her strength but because of they way she kills. She lived in this hell hole, where they take her to rooms. Examine. Fight. She knows she won't be able to entertain them for long. She decides to run. Soul. Brown hair as mud, blue eyes as the sky. Hight 6'2. Tanned and toned body. Death's best friend in the hell hole they're in, he's as cold as she is. But shows a bit of sympathy. Well... More than her at least. He's been there for her, ever since she entered this place of crap. They're the two most feared. As some people say, they're a perfect couple. Killing. Fighting. Cold hearted creatures. Also known as D and S. Why? That's what your going to find out, joining this adventure with D and S.

Tormenting Mr.Gangster by misssmileyShine

"Or I could just slice you pretty little neck right away and end this chapter here" he whispered dangerously in her ear. "You could, but then you would have to take care of two dead bodies instead of one, buy two coffins, two headstones, arrange for two places in the graveyard, organise two funerals etc... etc... it's kind of expensive you know especially considering the global financial crisis going on" she desperately tried to reason him, waiting for the right time to spray him and get the hell out of here. He chuckled at her attempts to reason him. "Or I could just throw your body over the nearest bridge and save me all the trouble of the funerals as you so rightly stated " he whispered coldly making her shudder. *** Tormenting Mr.Gansgter is about A gangster with a purpose... A lady who didn't ask for anything... Some curses... A little bit of shyness... And a great deal of sarcasm ! Collab ff with the wonderful Seerat for those who know her ;)

Taunting the Stalker by redthorns06

He's obsessed, insane even. He has to know her, watch her, touch her. She's his, and nothing will stop him. But she's smarter than he thinks.. ••• "You call me if he bothers you ever again, yeah?" "It's really nothing I-" he cuts me off "You'll call me." He says firmer "okay?" "Okay" I say softly, looking up at him. He's so fucking close to me. We just stand there for a moment and I'm having trouble remembering how to breathe. He leans closer, gently tilting my head up so that my eyes stay on him. "Good girl"

Caged By Him by moonchild80

"WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD?" He trapped my trembling body between his arms and slammed his fist into the wall. I flinch at the sound as I feel tears forming in my eyes. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR CRYING. JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE NEVER LEAVING. THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW, WITH ME" He spits, anger consuming his voice as I push myself further against the wall. Shutting my eyes closed and turning my face to the side as I do. Moments later, I feel his rough hand on my waist and his finger grazing my cheek. "Look at me, love." His hand grips onto my jaw, his thumb playing across my lower lip. He turns my face to meet his as I lower my gaze to the floor. He lowers himself to my level and I feel his breath fanning my cheek causing my breathing to become unsteady. "I love you so much, darling. But you need to learn. You need to learn that you won't be going anywhere. You're mine." With that being said, his other hand slides down to my waist "Your entire body, your mind, your soul. All mine." All I could do was tremble at his touch. How can someone so beautiful be so heartless? ~~~~~~~~~~ All a 19 year old Aurora Shaw wanted to do was work to make a living and volunteer at the orphanage. Unfortunately for her, ruthless and cunning 26 year old Mafia leader and billionaire Tristan Black had other plans for her. He's been waiting for the perfect moment to kidnap her and finally make her his queen after 2 years of watching and stalking her every move. He'd kill anyone who gets in the way of getting what he wants. What will happen when he ruins everything she wanted and forces her to marry him? Will she escape and resist him? Or will she submit and accept her fate?

His Possession by friesbeforeguys101

[Completed] [EDITED] *REALLY MATURE THEME* *MIGHT TRIGGER SOME* Jaxon Hunt. Gangster. Fighter. Player. Drug dealer. Jordan Johnson. Starting college. Sweet, sometimes. Smart mouth. Makes friends everyday without trying. And keeps Jaxon coming back for her. She makes him want to have her by his side the whole time and gets very possessive of her. •••••••••• "I can easily kill you. You don't know my life and you don't know what I live for. And you don't know what I do. So I can easily kill you with this." Then out of the blue he pulled out a gun. A fuckin gun. My eyes grew huge and held the knife tighter. "Get out." I hissed. He smirked then place the gun next to my head. "Now why would I want to leave?" "Because it's my house and I'm kicking you out." Then I placed the knife on his stomach. He looked down and then looked back at me. His smirk grew bigger. "Want to play that game?"... *highest rank so far- number 3 (08-23-17)* *needs tissues and torches later on* *Mature theme* *Cussing*

Bliss by Baily_xx

Just your basic 'He's the bad boy and she's the girl next door', type of story. Okay, Maybe not. It's more like 'He's a crazy, violent, anger prone lunatic and she's the girl next ward', but hey, they're pretty much the same thing, right? Wrong. -------------------------------- He leans in closer so I can feel his warm breath fanning across my face. "Why?" I ask softly. Staring into his eyes, urging him, begging him to spill all his deepest, darkest secrets. He gives me a half smile. "Because, you fascinate me." He says shortly. I'm lost for words, he's so close now I can almost taste the scent of his spearmint breath. I gulp. Slowly he raises a hand and cups the side of my face gently. "You, wear insanity like an accessory, you make it lust worthy and desirable. That's why." -------------------------------

of the worst dolor by dammie163

he carried the lil baby girl paving around trying to stop her from crying. she never stopped and he started to get worried. she soon stopped and he sighed satisfied. he dropped her on her little bed as she kept mute. he went up to get her food. just then, he heard a loud scream and hurried down. he met his aunt with her baby crying. she turned in anger only to find him making food for her baby. what the hell have you done again? she yelled in tears. he was puzzled. nothing. he stammered and she hit him hard on his face. you killed her! she yelled and he staggered backwards in shock. I've always bren a barren all my life and fortunately, I have birth and now, u killed her. she said calmly in tears. I don't want to see you hear by the time I return. you're useless and worthless!! she shot her heart up and walked right pass him. hot years streamed down his face as he left.

Beautifully Obsessed by Aphrodite4263

He was her rock, her best friend, her first love. He became her worst nightmare, her tormentor, her captor She was his everything. His obsession. Their story should have ended with that court case, but he's found a way back to her, and he won't give her another opportunity to escape. Not this time. ------------------------------------------- Shivering, I sobbed out, unable to speak, unable to move. "Shh, shh, now baby-girl, it's alright, you're safe, don't cry" he soothed, moving closer to me. "N-Noah, I w-want to go home," I sobbed, feeling weak from my inability to talk without stuttering. A gasp left my parted lips as his hand forcefully connected with my cheek, "You are home, so I don't want to hear that crap from you, okay?" shaking, I looked down at my feet, his gaze too menacing to hold. "I said, do you understand" he spit through clenched teeth, "y-yes, I'm sorry" I whispered, a new wave of tears making their appearance. "Good girl, now I need you to keep being a good girl, okay?" nodding, my eyes met his dark ones. His form towered over me, making me feel small and irrelevant. "Words, Embry!" He demanded as I stuttered out a quiet yes. I studied him cautiously as he walked towards the far end of the room, shuffling through drawers before stalking back towards me and crouching down. I sucked in a breath as I saw the knife in his hand, his face held a mischievous grin as it glinted in the light. "Now baby-girl, you see, as much as I hate to, you need to be punished, do you know why?" Warning! This story is for mature audience, it contains strong language, abuse, mature themes and sensitive topics. Please enjoy, -Aphrodite.

He Just Refuses to Die by xFancyAfx

Her one rule is simple: If she invites a guy to a date and he comes even a second late, she will kill him. Obviously, no guys comes **exactly** on time, so she usually kills everyone from the very first date. But then he comes along. He's handsome, he's cute, but more importantly, he always comes in time. Every. Single. Date. Mad and outraged, she invites him for more dates, each time thinking of ways that she would make him late just so she has an excuse to kill him. But, he comes in time every time, and, subsequently, He just refuses to die. ***This is a short story (10,000 - 11,000 words) that is COMPLETED***

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Slide 1 of 10

Hey Idiot! (#2) cover

The experiment. cover

Tormenting Mr.Gangster cover

Taunting the Stalker cover

Caged By Him cover

His Possession cover

of the worst dolor cover

Beautifully Obsessed cover

He Just Refuses to Die cover

Hey Idiot! (#2)

The whole cricketing world knew that they both are family friends. But Ella, Nelson and the word 'friend' doesn't fit in the same sentence. They hated each other. Since Childhood. They grew up together, practised together, fought each other, taunted each other and then finally seperated ways with them becoming the captain of their respective teams. Forced to face each other once in every year on an annual family dinner, they didn't realise that just another simple family dinner on just another normal day could change a lot. No one can unite them until destiny decides to take matters into its own hands. Cause when destiny wants to unite two hearts...it won't stop at any cost. This time, he again took a step forward and when I decided to move back, my back hit the wall and he caged me in between his arms. "Kiss me." "Wha-what?!" "Kiss me Ella." "Why on earth would I ever kiss you?!" "Cause I can't get you out of my fucking mind!" _ The detailed description is inside. (In case you are wondering why the hell there's a hashtag next to the title, numbering it...go read my bio.)