Dead Funny (ON HOLD) - Aegumenti - Wattpad

Dead Funny (ON HOLD)

Reads 155
Votes 18
Parts 5
Time 1h 23m

Reads 155
Votes 18
Parts 5
Time 1h 23m

death love murder psycho psychopath puns

You know that one thing that just makes you tick? Untied shoelaces, nail biting, chewing with an open mouth? You know how you just want to strangle that person? 
Well, Brandon is like that. Quite literally. Of course, the person who annoyed him isn't complaining - they're too busy being dead.
Brought up in a harsh environment, living mainly in the streets is Brandon's way of life. He knows nothing else than the street rules, and the street rules are no rules. Slowly slipping into madness is nothing when you're still alive, right? 
Brandons's falling, then he sees her. She's everything, and she's his only reason for sanity. Can she pull him out of his mind before he's arrested, lost, or even worse; killed?


**Contains strong language**All Rights Reserved

death love murder psycho psychopath puns

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5 parts

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The Outcast by ihareemnisar

"Will you just shut up" !!!!! I shouted loudly turning towards her ,she was literally getting on my nerves now "Don't you dare shout at me...You brought me into this mess", She shouted equally loudly at me The pitch of her voice was shattering my eardrums and I was on the verge of literally killing her now.She was so tiny yet hell annoying The bulb to the patience area in my mind suddenly got switched off and I abruptly pushed her into the alley wall bringing our faces real close to both our comfort levels "Listen to me you little brat and listen good...My fuckin patience is hanging on a thin thread so if you want your annoying little self to stay alive and might I add in one piece I suggest you shut your filthy shithole" I whispered in her ear lowly making her shiver knowing already that no doubt the shiver came purely from the fear she felt from me and not anything sexual..Good....She should fear me I wasn't the one to be trusted I wasn't the one to be loved I am not a person you should take lightly I am the one you don't want to mess with I am the one you don't want to piss off if you don't want your existence to be utterly painful I am Dominick Slade And I am The Outcast......

He Just Refuses to Die by xFancyAfx

Her one rule is simple: If she invites a guy to a date and he comes even a second late, she will kill him. Obviously, no guys comes **exactly** on time, so she usually kills everyone from the very first date. But then he comes along. He's handsome, he's cute, but more importantly, he always comes in time. Every. Single. Date. Mad and outraged, she invites him for more dates, each time thinking of ways that she would make him late just so she has an excuse to kill him. But, he comes in time every time, and, subsequently, He just refuses to die. ***This is a short story (10,000 - 11,000 words) that is COMPLETED***

MARACLEA••• (Nigel Colbie x reader) by whore4morpheus

raised in a church her entire life, y/n yearned for adventure outside of stupid acts for a simple rush of adrenaline. she wanted to run from cops, steal, drink, party, and have sex. she wanted a life worth living, and that was granted once Nigel came and ruined her and her brother's lives. it was worth it. she wanted to be his, and he wanted her to be his Maraclea. (IK HE IS A PSYCHO MURDERER, BUT OML I LOVE TOM STURRIDGE AND NIGEL IS SO FINE I COULD RANT FOR DAYS!) -ALSO THERE IS LITERALLY 1 SINGULAR STORY ON THIS SEXY MURDER FREAK SMUT WARNING 18+ (IK Y'ALL 14 YR OLDS OUT THERE IDC IF U READ😭) ANGST VIOLENCE GORE ETC

Twisted #Wattys2019 by IzKippie

Unusual dialogue system that doesn't get used as far as I know but to differ the dialogues from each other(this is just a personal preference of mine to clear up any confusion about who's talking) ------ THIS BOOK IN NO WAY IS INTENDED TO SUPPORT THE FOLLOWING -Suicide -Self harm Please seek professional help or talk to somebody whom you trust if you struggle with things like these(if it didn't already happen) ------- What seems to be cute at first, can turn out to be a tremendous disaster, or simply a way of getting their satisfaction without having malicious intentions? --- Disclaimers; -bloody scenes(well it'll be detailed) -mentions of suicide/self harm/murder -strong language(quite some cursing due to Tourette's, not a lot as it's not always put in) --- Each chapter ±500 words or more(usually more, excluding prologue&epilogue) --- Started: 10/02/'18 Completed: 12/06/'18 --- All rights are reserved for Jolymoy_awaaay©, copying is not allowed

The Rebellious Kids of Hell's City by SquidgySquidular

There's a saying going around. It's been going around for years, "you are either born to live in Hell's City or you're born to visit". Bonny never really knew what that meant until she herself is forced to live there and meets a familiar face. A young lad, born and raised in Hell's City, His days all meld into one. Drugs, sex and alcohol are his daily vices. One day he is introduced to a girl he already knew but never spoke to. She's not long moved to another part of Hell's City, closer to where he's currently living. Two souls that had already met, meeting again? I wonder what lessons will be learned. What will become of them when feelings rise to boiling point? when this love blooms, will it remain eternal or will they wilt away like lovers do. Will she stay in Hell's City or will she be called to somewhere else? (This story is being as a first time attempt at writing a whole story slowly. There will be dark themes but mainly good themes. There will be occasional mentions to SH or things along that level as well as mentions of sex. there will be warnings if topics become too graphic).

Bliss by Baily_xx

Just your basic 'He's the bad boy and she's the girl next door', type of story. Okay, Maybe not. It's more like 'He's a crazy, violent, anger prone lunatic and she's the girl next ward', but hey, they're pretty much the same thing, right? Wrong. -------------------------------- He leans in closer so I can feel his warm breath fanning across my face. "Why?" I ask softly. Staring into his eyes, urging him, begging him to spill all his deepest, darkest secrets. He gives me a half smile. "Because, you fascinate me." He says shortly. I'm lost for words, he's so close now I can almost taste the scent of his spearmint breath. I gulp. Slowly he raises a hand and cups the side of my face gently. "You, wear insanity like an accessory, you make it lust worthy and desirable. That's why." -------------------------------

The experiment. by shrosz

They used my vulnerability against me. They used that weapon, to make me accept their stupid idea. And I of course, accepted it, I didn't even know what they were going to do. They tugged and poked and even shoved their disgusting finger in your wound, just to see you cry. To see you change. No pitty in their eyes. They just continue. They drag you around with metal chains, hit you and turn you into a experiment. But I had enough of the tugging, the clawing, the moaning, the crying and pleading for them to stop, but simply feeding them with our pain. They turned me into something, that neither do they know what I am. Their afraid of me, of my reflexes, my strength. I killed a lot of them. They say I have a cold heart, that I don't feel nothing. That's why they call me: Death -----------------------------------------************************************--------------------------------------------- Death. A teen girl, pitch black hair, black eyes, white skin. Her height is 5'8. People are scared of her, not just because of her strength but because of they way she kills. She lived in this hell hole, where they take her to rooms. Examine. Fight. She knows she won't be able to entertain them for long. She decides to run. Soul. Brown hair as mud, blue eyes as the sky. Hight 6'2. Tanned and toned body. Death's best friend in the hell hole they're in, he's as cold as she is. But shows a bit of sympathy. Well... More than her at least. He's been there for her, ever since she entered this place of crap. They're the two most feared. As some people say, they're a perfect couple. Killing. Fighting. Cold hearted creatures. Also known as D and S. Why? That's what your going to find out, joining this adventure with D and S.

Kidnapped by Vampires 🎈 by 1234reggaetonlento

"W-who are you? W-why am I here?" I struggled against the ropes for dramatic effect. He leaned in towards me, now our faces several inches apart. Too close for my comfort actually, does this dude ever heard of personal space? "I am Finn Von Dracula, the vampire, and I just kidnapped you." He flashed me his white, shiny fangs to prove his claim. "Lol." Vampires are immortal creatures, once a human who got turned when a vampire bit them. When they live on Earth for too long, they tend to get bored. And look for something to keep them entertained: a pet. There are two types of people in the world: The sane and the crazy. Gwen Masters is definitely the crazy type. Loud, crazy and weird. What happens when she got kidnapped by two vampires? Crazy + Stick in the ass vampires + Vampire puns With such a weird combination, how will it turn out? Read to find out :) Warning *this book isnt about those domineering vampires/submissive human pets* *the grammar is probably so terrible grammar nazis will have nightmares for years* *full of crap jokes*

His Possession by friesbeforeguys101

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Until I Find My Star by Jenikim7

I limped towards the kitchen after sending him an email, that I'm on leave today. I couldn't even able to walk properly as I was feeling sore down there, just thinking about what happened yesterday was enough to make me trembling down with fear. He was rough, way too rough. He didn't even mind that I was on my 5th day of my menstrual period. For him it's all about him and his needs. He will never change. My lips wobbled as I cleared my tears as it started to flow down. Entering the kitchen, I took the glass of water gulping it down furiously to calm my racing heartbeat. I took another and another as my throat was itching and hurting with all that screaming. I gasped while keeping the glass in the sink. I won't be going to office today not after his brutality. I don't have enough strength to face him. I just can't... He's an animal and I don't think I can even stay in the same room as him even though he had done this so many times, yesterday he went too far. He crossed his limits and I don't want to see his face. I just hate him so much. As I stood holding the sink, a thought crossed my mind, why life is so cruel to me? What did I do to receive these? Why did I ended up with him? I just want to live normally. I sighed brushing my open hair, thinking about my miserable life. I shook my head, tying my hair in a bun. I turned around to leave the kitchen only to get startled by him. Him? My eyes widened at the realisation as gasped left my mouth in horror at the sight of him. What? He's here. It means... he never left. And the worst part is he's also looking at me with that look on his face. Lust filled eyes. Will he ever leave me alone? ------------------------- ⚠️WARNING: IT CONTAINS ABUSIVE DARK ROMANCE AND FORCED MATURED CONTENT. -------------------------- Highest Rankings:- #1 Random - 26/10/2023 #2 Zaddy- 5/01/2024 #2 Badboy - 26/02/2024 #4 Indian - 26/02/2024 #5 Obsessed - 16/02/2024 DO NOT COPY MY WORK PLEASE!

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Slide 1 of 10

The Outcast cover

He Just Refuses to Die cover

MARACLEA••• (Nigel Colbie x reader) cover

Twisted #Wattys2019 cover

The Rebellious Kids of Hell's City cover

The experiment. cover

Kidnapped by Vampires 🎈 cover

His Possession cover

Until I Find My Star cover

The Outcast

"Will you just shut up" !!!!! I shouted loudly turning towards her ,she was literally getting on my nerves now "Don't you dare shout at me...You brought me into this mess", She shouted equally loudly at me The pitch of her voice was shattering my eardrums and I was on the verge of literally killing her now.She was so tiny yet hell annoying The bulb to the patience area in my mind suddenly got switched off and I abruptly pushed her into the alley wall bringing our faces real close to both our comfort levels "Listen to me you little brat and listen good...My fuckin patience is hanging on a thin thread so if you want your annoying little self to stay alive and might I add in one piece I suggest you shut your filthy shithole" I whispered in her ear lowly making her shiver knowing already that no doubt the shiver came purely from the fear she felt from me and not anything sexual..Good....She should fear me I wasn't the one to be trusted I wasn't the one to be loved I am not a person you should take lightly I am the one you don't want to mess with I am the one you don't want to piss off if you don't want your existence to be utterly painful I am Dominick Slade And I am The Outcast......