Who Will Love Me?
- Reads 134
- Votes 23
- Parts 3
Palaging si Angelique Angeles ang kontrabida sa sariling istorya ng pamilya niya.
Kahit anong gawin niya-tama man o mali-lagi siyang mali sa paningin ng mga taong dapat unang magmahal sa kanya. Sa bahay na dapat naging tahanan, naging kulungan. Hindi na bago kay Angelique ang masakit na salita, ang malamig na tingin, at ang paninisi sa bawat problema ng pamilya nila.
"Kasalanan mo 'to."
"Wala kang kwenta."
"Bakit ba kasi pinanganak ka pa?"
Ilang ulit niyang narinig ang mga salitang 'yan, paulit-ulit, hanggang sa naging parte na ito ng sistema niya. Ang ama niyang dapat tagapagtanggol niya, siya pa ang unang nanakit-pisikal, emosyonal, at mental. Simula pagkabata, sanay na siya sa hampas at sigaw. Hanggang sa pagtanda, dala-dala pa rin niya ang mga latay na hindi lang sa balat, kundi pati sa kaluluwa.
Tahimik siyang tumatanggap. Hindi siya lumalaban, dahil alam niyang kapag sumagot siya, mas malala ang kapalit.
Sa gabi-gabing tahimik siyang umiiyak sa sulok ng kanyang kwarto, dumadalangin siyang sana, kahit minsan, maramdaman niyang mahal siya. Sa gitna ng lahat ng sakit at sigaw, hindi niya maiwasang itanong sa sarili:
"Kapag nawala kaya ako... mamahalin na nila ako?"
"May magmamahal pa kaya sa akin, sa ganito kong pagkatao?"
Sa mundong puro galit at sakit ang ibinibigay sa kanya, may pag-asa pa kayang may taong makakakita sa halaga niya?
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#305
familyproblems
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