Weakness Comes Strength

Weakness Comes Strength

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sun, Oct 18, 2015
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Fanfic
5sos
"why do I have this feeling inside me that I just want to cry all the time?? Before I couldn't cry no matter how much I wanted to but now if I hear or see something sad or meaningful it triggers something inside me. I don't get it before I felt strong because I wouldn't cry but know I feel weak every time I cry. I don't get it" "Because you can actually feel now before you would block out every thing and anything that would remind you of your past. Before you built up walls and tried anything you could so that no one would break it down and see your pain. That's also the reason you never healed, you have to break down the walls and let every thing in and work yourself out of the darkness of the tunnel. Also it's okay not to be okay."
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He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.

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