Until Next Time
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- Parts 1
Complete Mon, May 11, 20155m
It's been 7 month sense he's call, 4 months sense he's tried to text and apologies, a whole year sense we broke up and one month sense he's been completely been off my mind.
1 year sense he cheated on me with my 'friend' whilst I was away for work. I was deeply in love with him and two year relationship of say 'I love you' and 'I want to be with you forever'.
Nope, he had to go and fuck with my skanky 'friend' who I ended up slapped her in the face for laughing in my face and tell me that he was the best she'd ever been with, and I'm sorta glad that he was there to witness the ordeal because it goes to show what I'm capable of and that I'm a big girl.
Hearing Calum and Michael's laughs in the background and only to turn around to see Luke reaction was priceless.
"Until next time ladies" I smirked. It didn't hit me until I was half was home, that reality struck and that the love of my love cheated on me with the sluttiest person I know.
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"Will be there in 20?" The message from Dean reads. My brain says I should text back saying 'I will rip your balls off if you come over' or 'I am not a sex toy, you could come over and use me as and when you please' or at least a simple 'No'. But I don't. I squat next to my bed and pull out the white powder to numb the pain. I told myself that I am done with Dean and I am going to get my life back together. I cleaned up, battled withdrawals and even improved my grades. One text from him and I am snorting coke. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let Dean treat me like trash? Why do I set myself up knowing that it's only a matter of time before he will run back to Sherley leaving me in limbo? Why? l have asked myself the same question a million times but I couldn't come up with an answer that I can use to justify myself. When it came to Dean, I was a masochist. I let him use me and discard me without any fight. Dean was my first Friend. Kiss. Sex. Love. Everything. I wanted to be his everything too. I was his first Friend. Kiss and Sex but Love.. that was Sherley. His family chauffeur's daughter. I want to be a better human and say I didn't hate her. But I am not. I am just human and I hate her with the ferocious of a thousand sun. I hate that she plays him like a fiddle and he dances to it. I hate that they fight for silly reasons and Dean comes running to me. I hate that I let him in even when I know she will reel him back in no time. I hate that he is my weakness and Sherley is his. I wished that my best friend would turn to be my lover. But he just ripped my heart out. It time to let go and move on.
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