Faking it In paradise

Kenneth McCormick had always worked well under pressure. He'd learned to become one with it-rather than fight it or cower in its presence. Trouble seemed to find him half the time anyway. Over time, it just became second nature. He'd seen and heard it all. From dying in hundreds of cruel and unusual ways, to their fourth-grade math teacher becoming president, to the great PS4 vs. Xbox One wars, to everyone morphing into Jersey Shore knockoffs, and even terrorists invading the realm of imagination-none of it shocked him anymore. Not really.

But if someone had told him about the complete and utter chaos he was about to be dragged into-a second trip to Hawaii, of all things-he might've laughed in their face. Or run the other way. Because out of all the bizarre situations Kenny had witnessed, he never expected a vacation with a particularly naive boy to spiral into a mess of lies, confusion, and couple's discounts... all because neither of them could handle confrontation without acting like it was the bubonic plague. So gather around, girls and boys, as I unfold the tale of two eighth graders who were physically incapable of catching a break-even in paradise.