could never be us

Sometimes, you take your clothes off and you lay on your back, and you don't expect anything after. No calls, no texts. Then, other times, it's as though you hope maybe they'll miss your skin the same way you miss theirs. You hope they want to intertwine their body with yours the same way you want to. You wonder if they trace your lips in their mind the way you do theirs. But most times, you remind yourself you are nothing but another body to them, something temporary and easy. Not even a choice, but an option. Maybe not even their first. You even tell yourself that nothing that happens between the two of you matters, it just feels good. Until it doesn't. And then, you know, sometimes you hope deep down you might mean more. You hope maybe they miss you when you're gone. The claim they have on you and your body, you hope it travels through their blood to every artery, every organ. But especially their mind and soul, those after all are what matter the most. Sometimes, you hope deep down that the next time they lay you on your back and tell you how good you feel, you'll mean more than just that.

Join Astrid Smith on her journey to today's "hookup culture," as she learns what she wants and what she doesn't. She learns the difference between friend and lover, and lust and love. As Astrid is on this journey, she meets some new people, let's go of some old ones, and bumps into some ghosts from her pasts.

The most important question for Astrid, at the end of the day, is:

Will she learn to choose herself?