all i have left {n.h}

im sitting on the floor with my arms wrapped around my knees, pulling them to my chest. a bottle of vodka is open next to me, half empty. im trying to control my panicked breathing when my phone rings.

"hello," my voice cracks.

"amber?" nialls voice breaks me.

"ya, it's me," i accidentally let out a sob.

"what's wrong?" concern fills his voice and i can't handle it. niall loved that little girl almost as much as i did. he was her favorite in the first place. i was surprised she let me be with him.

"they took her, niall. they took her away from me!" i sob some more and take another drink of vodka. "she's all i had left and now she's gone! what's the point of trying to keep up on bills when she's not here? i don't even care about living on the streets. i might as well die!" once again i take a drink of vodka, finishing the bottle.

"amber, where are you?" niall breathed out a few minutes after he let my words sink in.

"where else would i be?" i slurred, voice dripping of sarcasm. "in this shithole apartment that i only kept for her!" i smash the bottle into the wall as my voice raised. the pain inside of me was physical. it physically hurt that she was gone. i worked three jobs and dropped out of highschool in 9th grade just so i could keep her. so we wouldn't be put into foster care and be separated. i failed her. she still ended in foster care because i couldn't provide a safe enough living environment.

"god damn it!" i screamed, throwing a full bottle of alcohol against the wall.

"shit, amber," niall said in my ear. I had forgotten i was on the phone with him. "stay right where you are, im coming for you."

"don't worry about it, niall," i tried to stop him. "im not worth it. everyone i love is taken away from me. i dont want to lose you, too."

"you love me?" shit.

"of course i love you, now please stay away. i dont want to lose you," i whispered and hung up.