all i have left {n.h}
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- Votes 19
- Parts 7
im sitting on the floor with my arms wrapped around my knees, pulling them to my chest. a bottle of vodka is open next to me, half empty. im trying to control my panicked breathing when my phone rings.
"hello," my voice cracks.
"amber?" nialls voice breaks me.
"ya, it's me," i accidentally let out a sob.
"what's wrong?" concern fills his voice and i can't handle it. niall loved that little girl almost as much as i did. he was her favorite in the first place. i was surprised she let me be with him.
"they took her, niall. they took her away from me!" i sob some more and take another drink of vodka. "she's all i had left and now she's gone! what's the point of trying to keep up on bills when she's not here? i don't even care about living on the streets. i might as well die!" once again i take a drink of vodka, finishing the bottle.
"amber, where are you?" niall breathed out a few minutes after he let my words sink in.
"where else would i be?" i slurred, voice dripping of sarcasm. "in this shithole apartment that i only kept for her!" i smash the bottle into the wall as my voice raised. the pain inside of me was physical. it physically hurt that she was gone. i worked three jobs and dropped out of highschool in 9th grade just so i could keep her. so we wouldn't be put into foster care and be separated. i failed her. she still ended in foster care because i couldn't provide a safe enough living environment.
"god damn it!" i screamed, throwing a full bottle of alcohol against the wall.
"shit, amber," niall said in my ear. I had forgotten i was on the phone with him. "stay right where you are, im coming for you."
"don't worry about it, niall," i tried to stop him. "im not worth it. everyone i love is taken away from me. i dont want to lose you, too."
"you love me?" shit.
"of course i love you, now please stay away. i dont want to lose you," i whispered and hung up.
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I scrounge around the magazine section and look past the little girl magazines that I used to read. Seventeen and teen vogue and twist all filled with that boy band. Ugh... I flip through them, laughing at what they until I get to the one direction section in Seventeen. Harry, Zayn, Louis, Liam, and Niall. Niall...I flip through it quickly and smirk at all this and put it on the shelf and start to walk away. My brain finally, some how clicks. "WOAH... WOAH WAIT WHAT?!?!" I scream and realize some little kids are in front of me. I give them a small smile at them as they scream and run the other way. I turn and run back to the magazines in a rush. I sit against the wall and pull that magazine back out again. Niall... Niall... He looks exactly like he does. How does he NOT tell me this stuff when I hang out with him? "How am I that stupid." I whisper to myself and groan and hit my head repeatedly against a wall. Maybe I can knock some sense into my own head if I do this. Nope. Still feel like an idiot. How can I be so stupid? How do I not notice this sort of thing? I mean they are all over! -------------------- Let me tell you a bit about myself. I hate one direction. I really do. But this obviously fake dyed blonde haired boy saves me from a directioner going a concert and then he asks me if I would want to go out with him?! What kind of question is that? Let me tell you about the adventure of finally picking up the broken parts of my heart and letting go of my past and moving on from the bad and onto the new. You never know who would be the one to actually save me.
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