19 FLOORS UP - antonycharle - Wattpad

19 FLOORS UP

Reads 338
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Parts 7
Time 1h 20m

Reads 338
Votes 31
Parts 7
Time 1h 20m

adventure deep emo fiction girlmeetsworld heavy love parents romance scary suicidalthoughts

My name is Claire and I'm a Divorce kid. I guess its a real thing but it isn't all I am. I'm a girl, I'm a near university graduate and I am a suicide attempt survivor. Thats where people linger I guess...the me trying to kill myself bit but I think they have their priorities wrong. Firstly because its my life and I'm allowed to do the hell I want and secondly because I think I deserve it.
I really think everyone should make less of a deal of what happened than they do and noone can honestly say they didn't see what happened in the end coming. Sure I looked a lot better but I'm not the only one who was not okay to begin with and I guess if you asked me I cant really blame anyone but myself and maybe mom...and right now if you ask me what I'd have done differently or what I'll do differently I guess I'd say I'm going to live and yes I get the irony in that. In all of it.All Rights Reserved

adventure deep emo fiction girlmeetsworld heavy love parents romance scary suicidalthoughts

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Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

Release Me by anna_rose01

Highest ranked- #10 in action 2/16/2017 A promotion. That's all I wanted. I didn't want to run for my life. I didn't want to be kidnapped. I didn't want to face death. I didn't want to find out my whole life was a lie. I just wanted a bloody promotion. Guess fate had other plans? **** The cold air fanned over my face as I opened the door. The exit door lead to the back of the building so it was pitch black. I leaned against the wall trying to control myself. Blood was running down my arm and head. My hair was stuck to my face from all the sweat and blood. Everything was spinning around me and the ground seemed like it was shaking. Groaning I sat down and put my head on my knees. He knows who I am. He knows how I look like. He knows where I work so possible knows where I live. I am not safe anymore... no where. While I was in my own world I heard faint sounds behind me but I didn't bother to look or run away. The footsteps got closer and I was pretty sure it was Walker's men. I should run. I should try to fight. But what's the point in trying to run away? He would eventually find me and if he has his way he would most likely kill me. If this is my fate then why am I trying to fight it? I felt someone harshly grab my waist and pull me up and I complied. They dragged me down the alley and into the busy street. I heard the opening of a car and the next thing I knew I was being thrown into a car. My head hit the hard leather seat and the door shut behind me. Maybe this is how my life will end. Maybe I should just let it happen. Maybe I was destined to die alone as a no one. With that I let the darkness consume me.

Holding On • #Wattys2015 by __TEAL__

I decided I have given up. I have been trying to hold on for the past month but all of that was super hard, I have been going mad. I'm not just saying that because I miss Taylah, I bet if I had friends everything wouldn't have been as bad. I know my parents love me, but you can tell they are fed up with my screaming and crying. I don't want to go through this pain anymore, I don't want to see my parents frustration anymore, I don't want to see people try and stay sane when I'm around, I don't want any of this. I have decided to lift everybody's pain and frustration away, and to do that I have to do one thing. One thing. One very stupid thing. But it's the only way to make everyone happy.

The New American Dream by midnight--vamp

"I see the world and it seems like I see it so differently than most other people. It makes me really angry most of the time. Especially since no one ever listens to me or what I've got to say. I try to express myself in so many different ways and no one sees it. When I sing a song people will only care about how the music sounds or how much I swore. If I paint, people will see the picture but not the meaning. It seems so obvious to me but everyone just seems to... close their eyes. Or at least shut off their brain. As if I see things they don't. But when they don't listen, how can I communicate that to them? It's so frustrating." Allie is a high school student and has big plans to make the world a better place. But her own head is pitting against her, throwing rocks in her path on a daily basis. Everything seems to be great for a while but what happens when her world suddenly comes crashing down around her? Can she ever recover? A coming-of-age story that deals with mental ilnesses, grief, first loves and family, briefly taps into the subject of religion and will likely enrapture you. Trigger warning: mental illnesses, self harm, death, dealing with grief, mentions of guns and gun control, mentions of cults, mentions of homophobia, dissociation. Names of bands, band members and song titles have been changed but at this point I want to credit mainly Palaye Royale, the band 'Homesick Soldiers' that is mentioned throughout is heavily based off them, but I'm sure if you're familiar with them you would have been able to tell that :)

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ by ZaynismRules

***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

This Place (boyxboy) by kimmyann123

I'm just lying here in stillness and darkness wondering why. Why did this have to happen to my mom? We have nothing we can't even afford a house. Here I am a 14 year old boy that lives in a shelter home. Mom says one day we'll get out. But I've lost all hope. And I know my mom has no hope either. If she did I wouldn't have to hear her cry herself to sleep at night. I hate seeing her in so much pain. I wish, I could get a job. Maybe since I'm younger and a boy they'll hire me. Who am I kidding? My mom's in her 30's she's not old either. Sometimes the idiots that run this place kick my mom out for the night because she's making too much noise after hours. My mom was crying; is that too hard to understand? I hate this place. Well, tomorrow's our first day apart since summer started. They're forcing me to go to high school. I'm okay with school but I don't want to leave my mom alone in this world. Well, I guess there's a better chance of me getting a job if I'm in high school. You know there's one thing I remember my mom telling me when I was young. "Never frown; you never know who's falling in love with your smile." Words to live by. Let's hope they help me tomorrow.

Double Down (a double standards series) Dark Romance (Part 7) by nikkihershell

I didn't ask to be born into this world, none of us did but we make the best of it. I'm a twenty-five year old single man. Why you may ask? Because I've seen what love can do to a person. It can destroy them. My parent's are amazing but I can still remember the time's my father threatened to kill my mother, left us due to his mental illness. Besides who needs one main women when I can have a different one under me every night, money to blow and fast cars. I'm just enjoying my time until I take my Papes place at the throne. Most nights are spent living it up with my cousins who are my only friends. However there is the one girl that has caught my eye and I don't know why. I first spotted her at a random coffee house I stepped into. Usually I'm very talkative especially when I'm trying to snag a chic but I couldn't utter a word to her. I barely managed to place my order. Now, I find myself going out of my way to stop by that coffee shop everyday. It doesn't matter that it's out of my way. The only thing that matters is that I see her. I knew I could take her if I really wanted to but I can't make myself to do it. She sees me enter and shoots me that amazing smile and prepares my order without even asking what I want, she knows. She'll offer a greeting but all I can do is nod my head. She makes me lose my word's. Deep in my mind I wonder if she could be the one that could change my mind on love and that scares me. For now I'm satisfied at seeing her for the few minutes it takes to get my coffee. Besides I'm a killer, a future mob king and she's this delicate flower that wouldn't understand my world. It's best to cut my loses and move on. If only I knew her name..

Abigail by hmarieh1218

(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.

Tired of Lies by MissYanxiet

*(COMPLETED) "The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth." He bit his lip. "I wanted to te-" His eyes began to water and as a single tear fell he looked at me and said "but what if you've been lying for so long you don't know how to tell the truth?" "I have and so will you." He shook his head, shut his eyes, and leaned his forehead against the glass. "And here I was thinking you would admit that you don't tell the truth either." I gripped the telephone as my knuckles turned white. "What do you mean?" "Come on Zoey I've seen you sneaking around acting like you're busy. You're hiding something and you won't tell me." All Zoey Campbell ever wanted to do was keep her head down and get through high school. Too bad it isn't that easy. Zoey is tired of everything and everyone. She is tired of being pushed around and tired of watching in the shadows. She is tired of pretending to like that girl that doesn't even know her name. Tired of pretending that she is ok when she isn't. She is constantly hoping for a better way out thinking she should just disappear. All she wants to do is scream but no matter how loud she screams no one can hear her. Don't worry things just get worse. Everyone thinks she's a "sick" girl and just another suicide case waiting to happen. I mean what kind of girl sits by herself everyday right? Zoey is running out of time and she thinks no one has tried to help her until her "special" speech in class. No one really cares about what she really thinks anyway. It just that feeling of pity. Everyone thinks she really is sick but she knows she's not. But what if she is? Maybe all it takes is that one thing to make her snap. As her life gets thrown into chaos and deep dark secrets she can't help but try to figure out the truth. Will she find a way to let her new friends save her or will she just end up as another suicide case? *Disclaimer wrote this in 2017 when I was 14.

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Slide 1 of 10

Cold Water cover

Release Me cover

Holding On • #Wattys2015 cover

The New American Dream cover

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ cover

Falling Apart cover

This Place (boyxboy) cover

Double Down (a double standards series) Dark Romance (Part 7) cover

Tired of Lies cover

Cold Water

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression