BULLETS & BLISS

EMOTIONS - I DON'T HAVE ANY

"I hate you," he says, leaning too close.

The bitter smell of alcohol made me scrunch my nose in disgust. "Tu-Tumne pi hai?" I ask ignoring the way my heart races when he's so close to me that our lips are merely an inch apart.

"No! No Hindi," He stumbles over me and we crash on the floor. "Only English."

I feel his weight over me.

"You're drunk, Kian," I try to shove him off but he pins my hands with his one hand and shuts my mouth with his other hand.

"Why did you change yourself?" He whispers. His black eyes stare at me with disappointment.

"Now, you behave like old me," His alcoholic breath hits my face and his words hit my heart. His eyes start blinking slowly, his grip on my hands eases and he buries his face in my neck. My body freezes, my heart races and my mind ceases.

"Aria," He mumbles touching his lips on my neck. Eight years, eight years later I'm hearing him call me like that. Like what? Like it could be the best name in the world. Like it can take away my breath. Like it's the only thing I'll ever need to survive. Like... I can forget what I was saying or thinking or doing.

"I hate this Aria, please, please come back," he whispers in his drowsy drunk tone. The water in my eyes blurs my vision. I force down the lump in my throat and blink to clear my sight.

I'm not supposed to cry. I'm not weak and I wouldn't let myself crumble again in front of him.

I push him and he drops to my left then I try to rise with the support of my elbows but his hand grabs me by my waist and he drags me in his arms.

"Thodi der," He hugs me.