Kiss Him, Not Me!

Ivy Parker is as dull as they come.

When you look at her, you might think, "Wow, she's beautiful." But then you notice her nose is permanently buried in one of those books of hers, and suddenly you realize there's probably no chance of getting her attention. From the outside, Ivy appears to be an elegant, untouchable young lady, the picture of grace and refinement. But get to know her, and you'll quickly discover that the same girl who can discuss literature with a perfectly straight face is also blushing furiously over the R-18 scenes in her BL novels.

So imagine her surprise when her two childhood neighbours, whom she has never felt even an ounce of romantic attraction toward, suddenly start constantly fighting over her.

She doesn't think, "Wow, they both like me!"

No.

Her brain immediately goes:

"OMG. THEY'RE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER."

In her eyes, every argument is flirting. Every glare is sexual tension. Every time they stand within five feet of each other is basically a confession. She happily starts shipping them together, completely oblivious to the fact that the two boys are actually fighting because they are both hopelessly in love with HER.

But to her surprise, "WE DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER. WE LIKE YOU."

Instead of screaming, blushing, or realizing that she has somehow managed to acquire two boyfriends at once, the hearts in her eyes slowly crack.

"Wait... what do you mean you don't have feelings for each other?!"
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Original works by asi_ira