still want you | billie eilish

We were twelve and thirteen when we met.

She was the prodigy. I was the girl in the seats.

We became inseparable.

Billie Eilish taught me how to trust green rooms, group chats, and secrets whispered during warmups. I learned her laugh, her moods, the way she'd call me Mel like it meant something.

I didn't realize I was in love with her until years later-after the pet names, the late-night calls, the almosts we never talked about.

When we finally blurred the line-just us, no labels-it felt inevitable.

Then she cut me off for a boy with a smirk and a spotlight.

He found out about us. He made sure I knew I'd never be enough.

I showed her what he sent.

She chose him anyway.

We haven't spoken since.

Now I'm twenty-one, vegan, five feet of fury, chaos, and accidental fame. My sister Mya, my best friend Grace, and I are building something real.

I swore I was done waiting for Billie to choose me. But the universe? Messy.

Her music keeps finding its way into my life-and my work.

People keep asking about us.

And every time I see her name, I remember the way she used to look at me like I was hers.

She says we're nothing.

I remember everything.
We're not friends. We're not over.

And if she wants to pretend it didn't happen-fine.

Let her watch while the whole world falls for the girl she walked away from.