Merl in the Zombie Apocalypse

Merl is a pipe-smoking, Dickens-loving, overweight academic who just wants to be left alone to read in peace.

But when a slow-moving, feces-spawning pandemic wipes out most of humanity and culminates in a full-on zombie apocalypse, Merl has no choice but to rise from his velvet settee, grab his trusty sledgehammer, and defend what remains of his quiet, tweed-coated life.

Told in Merl's hilariously rambling voice, this short story is a mashup of zombie horror, literary satire, and unapologetic absurdity. Think Shaun of the Dead meets A Tale of Two Cities-with more gray turds and fewer surviving neighbors.

A 5,000-word dark comedy about survival, solitude, and smashing the undead.