Shit The word I used a lot during the years of 2011-2013 I was told to keep all my thoughts in a broken down notebook some whore found in the back of her closet or whatever. I was forced into accepting.......his suggestion of doing this shit. He told me that if this turns out "acceptable" I'd get some type of reward. I had lost my best friend, my grades suck and the cuts on my thighs are getting more and more noticeable so my life couldn't get any worse or better if I do write in this shitty book.