Unmake Me

Unmake Me

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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Mon, May 11, 202615h 25m
I met a man. He's not kind. He's not cruel. He's just... unreadable. I'm a mess-clumsy, anxious, barely holding it together. He watches me like he's waiting for me to unravel. Then he sees a crack in my life- and wedges himself in like rot in old wood. One deal. And suddenly, he owns me. My time. My body. My silence. He doesn't want my heart. He wants control. He won't stop until I'm broken open, and what's left belongs only to him.
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

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