Story Advice
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Última atualização ter, out 21, 2025
This is a pitch for my story, Berzucres Virus. I ask for advice on how to make it better. The story is about an autistic faun whose sister has her lifespan taken away, and he goes on a journey to help her become a faun again. The story tackles themes of ableism towards disabled people, racism, and the struggles of any gender.
The story involves Ainu culture, Warlpiri culture, Japanese culture, geisha culture, autistic people, LGBTQIA+, etc. If you find anything uncomfortable about this, feel free to bring it to my attention so that I can fix it.
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ainu
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Immortal Among Mortals: The Rebirth Jade Lake Fairy
she was in her first life a pampered princess , spoiled,white tea and bitchy girl , she just thought that acting pitifully would give her the whole world . But she was wrong getting infatuated with a man who with his companions disdained her ,they were interested in Yu Luo. She lose her cultivation,her position in the family and died pitifully learning she was an orphan . She reached modern earth world , in the body of an orphan girl promising to be strong ,she became a doctor to save lives and also as a spy to save people , she went on board abroad for an operation for a child, unfortunately there was a terrorist group who attacked ,she thought of the end ,but she came back to her previous world , to her shocking surprise she got a space inside that space a woman who is a dragon who has a multi attribute cultivator who want to make her inherit from her, the same space has been collecting over stuff from two worlds ,ten powerful contracted beast ,a control over all elements even those forgotten in the sea of history plus a master of meta psychic ,having the Ancestor like a second father,atonishing background. Fuck off love ,all what she wants now is to protect her loved ones and herself,live well and a fulfilling, give life to a super kingdom where all can achieve their dreams and goals . She in all cases isn't interested in love but suddenly it was as if the world became crazy and strange as she tried to stay away,her big brother became more protective ,his friends wanted to pamper her,then the greatest apothecary of the moment asked her to call him Uncle and then the guy who was her Master in her past life who never really cared about her and used her as a stepping stone for the path of his foster girl suddenly became obsessed with her, pursued and hunted her even to the point of threatening to cage her if she runs away. But our heroine is feisty,tough,bold and mighty she'll resists his antics. So he who loved her to obsession and lost his opportunity tries now
𝙰 𝚅𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜'𝚜 𝙶𝚞𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚂𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚕...
Have you ever had one of those terrible yet annoyingly pivotal moments? You know, that monumental fragment of time that flips everything you have ever known. That plot twist second that completely takes you by surprise. The one just before the storm hits and everything goes to hell. Yes? Because you see, that moment happens to be my whole damn life. It wasn't always like this though. I used to have a pretty mundane existence, happy to just get good grades and be around my friends. God I wish I could get that simplicity back, I'd never complain it was boring again. But I know I'm not going to ever get back my old life because well... I died. (Kinda) But I woke up. And I was thrilled, beyond grateful I wasn't dead. But then I realized that there was one minor detail that had changed about my reality. I was given the chance to live but it turns out I woke up as the villainess in an otome game my friend used to be obsessed with - Kingdom of freaking Hearts (I added the freaking in there for effect, it's just Kingdom of Hearts) Where, for the record, the villainess only has two possible endings 1) execution and 2) getting exiled. So Fate was like, "Don't worry, I'll save you. Here's a chance to live" and then was like "psyche, screw you. You're still going to die but I'll let you suffer a little first." So now, if only to annoy Fate by proving it wrong, I am determined to survive. I can and I will if I play by these simple rules: 1) Befriend Heroin 2) Avoid Aryn Edwards at All Costs as well as other capture targets And 3) Be the top student at the academy and become an invaluable asset to my Kingdom so I become indispensable, thus unkillable. I'm determined, stubborn, persistent and I will live passed 16. Fate made a big mistake setting me up to die. Since it threw this plot twist at me, I figure I'll return the favor. I'll be the biggest plot twist Fate never saw coming...![My Soul, Their Name [A Honkai Star Rail Fanfiction]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/392980934-256-k560678.jpg)
My Soul, Their Name [A Honkai Star Rail Fanfiction]
Having just finished his final exams after countless sleepless nights, his body gives out the moment he lets himself relax. As the exam paper is taken from his hands, everything fades. But instead of the nothingness he expected, there's a subtle shift - something quiet, almost imperceptible. When he opens his eyes, he's staring at a ceiling he doesn't recognise. His vision blurs with confusion. He's been reincarnated into the body of someone named Y/N L/N, on a planet he's never seen... yet somehow, it feels familiar. What does it mean to awaken in a stranger's body on a world called Amphoreus? And more importantly - is this life truly his to live?
Maybe
An internal voice whispered, "Call him." But I chose not to. I dismissed it once more, saying, "He never liked me anyway." Yet the dilemma lingered. "But maybe he does. The way he looks at you... it's different." Out of nowhere, he glanced my way. My heartbeat quickened, sending shivers down my spine. I averted my gaze, pretending to look around. "Has he noticed me? No, wait-oh my god." --- After switching high schools, Nina discovered a new way of life. She fell in love, made wonderful friends, and everything seemed perfect. But Ethan-a popular boy who never focused on anyone but her-was the object of her hatred. He was always there, always keeping her safe. He used to annoy her endlessly. She hated him deeply. Until she didn't. For a while, she was content with her high school experience. That is, until something mysterious turned her world upside down. Forced to move to a new city, Nina had to cut ties with everyone she once knew. Eight years later, fate brings her face-to-face with him again. "Ethan..." He's the key to everything-the truths she never knew. When she was lost in the dark, he always held the light. But now, things are different. She despises him. He's colder than ever. Or perhaps she fears him. Fears that he'll leave her again. Will their lives ever return to normal after everything they've endured? "Maybe?" "Maybe yes. Maybe no?" --- Started: 8 November 2021 Ended: 19 December 2022 Rewritten: December 2024 --- ### Rankings Goals So Far: #1 Adolescente #1 given up #1 blinddates #1 pretend #10 twistedromance #50 high school romance --- ### Notice: This is my first published story, and it contains numerous grammatical errors and bad editing. If you're interested in the storyline, please don't judge me too harshly based on this book. Better stories are on the way-I'm still learning and improving every day. Enjoy! ✨Concluída
𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 || 𝘉𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳.
˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊ ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ - You have ㄒ卂Ҝ乇几 ㄖᐯ乇尺 my heart now 千卂匚乇 ㄒ卄乇 匚ㄖ几丂乇Ɋㄩ乇几匚乇丂 ... what if i dont want to... because it was never my intention to mak- F̘͍͖ͫ͘A̷͙ͭͫ̕C̵͉͋̔͞Ḛͭ̉̇͟ I̍̅̀̎̊T̨͈͗̌ͥ P̧͕̒̊͘L̸̖̽̌͂Ḛͭ̉̇͟A̷͙ͭͫ̕S̵̙͕̀̃Ḛͭ̉̇͟ I̍̅̀̎̊ N̺̻̔̆ͅḚͭ̉̇͟Ḛͭ̉̇͟D̶͔̭̪̻ Ỵ̛̖͋͢O̖̼ͩ͌͐U̠҉̷̙ͦ. I̍̅̀̎̊ N̺̻̔̆ͅḚͭ̉̇͟Ḛͭ̉̇͟D̶͔̭̪̻ Ỵ̛̖͋͢O̖̼ͩ͌͐U̠҉̷̙ͦR͉̜̎͡͠ T̨͈͗̌ͥO̖̼ͩ͌͐U̠҉̷̙ͦC̵͉͋̔͞Hͥ̽ͣ̃̔ Ỵ̛̖͋͢O̖̼ͩ͌͐U̠҉̷̙ͦR͉̜̎͡͠ B̩͎͍̾ͅO̖̼ͩ͌͐D̶͔̭̪̻Ỵ̛̖͋͢ Ỵ̛̖͋͢O̖̼ͩ͌͐U̠҉̷̙ͦR͉̜̎͡͠ S̵̙͕̀̃O̖̼ͩ͌͐U̠҉̷̙ͦL̸̖̽̌͂ I̍̅̀̎̊ N̺̻̔̆ͅḚͭ̉̇͟Ḛͭ̉̇͟D̶͔̭̪̻ I̍̅̀̎̊T̨͈͗̌ͥ A̷͙ͭͫ̕L̸̖̽̌͂L̸̖̽̌͂... .𖥔 ݁ ˖⌗﹒ ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚- in which a girl was transported into her favorite otome game but was reborn as a side character but she quickly turns into the favorite of the main protagonist. Will you die by your sickness or will you die by the hands of the yanderes or shall you find love in this game you deeply admire? stay toned my beautiful unpolished gems ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆ - this story takes inspiration by https://www.wattpad.com/user/simpsfornonexistents?utm_source=android&utm_mediuim=link&utm_content=share_profile&wp_page=user_details&wp_uname=Leimonthelemon I LOVE THEIR STORIES PLEASE READ AND SUPPORT THEM ALSO THERE WILL BE ANGST WAIT UHM LEMME JUST FIX THE WARNINGS EHEH ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ - Warnings - Stalking Lustful thoughts Sexual tension Talking about suicide Suicide Angst Short or long chapters VERYYYYY LONG UPDATES
The Merchant and The Warrior Of The Wind(under major updating)
(This story starts in a completely different world, same time line as the Wild West, but in a completely different dimension. I will have some blips, but do not mean to be rude if I have the tribes wrong in the Wild West time. The female lead is of my own ideas and nothing to do with one such tribe) Harriett Hall, a 15 year old beauty with a hidden secret that has cost her everything she has held dear. The last of 'Sisters Of The Wind' a tribe in Egypt where the woman have fought alongside the men for centuries. Being the youngest of 3 daughters, it has been her place to protect the last child of her family and never marry. But after a raid led by a trusted merchant that came from 'The Land of the Eagles and The Fertile Soil' and his men. Destroyed everything in their way, if it wasn't for being overlooked very quickly because of her makeup face with spots, boils and scars, to detour many future possible matches from happening. She follows a couple of leads that take her to 'The Land of the Eagles and The Fertile Soil'. Where luckily her uncle awaits for her. She will find: love, loss, happiness and pain, in a world so alien to her and unearth feelings that she was always told to keep hidden. The Merchant only known by the Name, He-Who-Travels-With-The-Wind. Being a merchant was never on the cards, he was to be the next Chief of his tribe until he was betrayed by those he thought he could trust. With his ability to carry a weapon gone, he becomes a wandering merchant to get by. Everything changes when he finds a beauty helping one of his friends, dressing his wounds after a fight in Bishops Close. A beauty with such kindness, understanding, no judgment or hate. He will teach this little warrior the true things that she was told to bury. Two lost souls, that have been betrayed by those they thought they could trust. Will not only teach each other what they have lost but also open each others hearts to the beauty that lives inside.
ENGLISH VERSION - Joker (Sanzu x OC)
You know what makes me laugh about people? Their habit of judging others just by looking at them. "That guy's just a psycho." "A freak." They think I don't think. That I'm stupid. That all I do is stir up shit. Adorable. The truth is, I see everything. I know everything. This game? It's mine. The rules? I make them. I'm no pawn. I'm the fucking master of this chessboard. The King matters more than anything else. And her? She's my Queen. She thinks she understands me. No. Not yet. But she'll end up seeing me for what I am. Because once you've tasted madness-once it's sunk its claws into you-there's no saving you. She's not getting out. Not now that I've seen her. Not now that she's stepped into my game. Welcome to Book 2 of my saga centered on the Bonten members. This story focuses on Sanzu Haruchiyo, an unstable, obsessive and uncontrollable character. Even though it follows the continuity of the first book (centered on Mikey), you don't need to read it to follow this one. Just like the first, there's no need to read or watch Tokyo Revengers - the universe is open to everyone. All characters, except for the main OC, belong to Ken Wakui. ⚠️ BIG WARNING ⚠️ This story is way darker than the previous one. It deals with sensitive themes. I won't be able to list all the TWs at the start of every chapter, because with Sanzu, they'll be constant. If this kind of content makes you uncomfortable: DON'T READ IT. Protect yourself. This story's not for you, and that's totally okay. Seriously. Non-exhaustive list of TWs: Physical / psychological violence Toxic relationships Mentions of trauma Dub-con / non-consensual dynamics Smut Drug use Graphic violence descriptions If you still decide to step inside Sanzu's mind... Prepare yourself. There's no coming back.Concluída
Life Afterlife: The Sequel
"Death is death and there's not much we can do about it. But what comes after is in our hands." The sequel to In Another Life by LittleLuxray that nobody asked for-but which I simply had to write for myself. ~ In Cloud Atlas, Robert Frobisher writes in a letter to Sixsmith that "a half-finished book is, after all, a half-finished love affair." This story is my attempt to finish what was written by a different author five years ago. Bokuto is my favourite character in Haikyuu; Akaashi is his favourite person. Reading In Another Life a week ago, I felt empty. After rewatching Cloud Atlas I realised why that was. The story needs to end. And death is not an end, but a door. There are too many stories about the ones who leave. This is for the ones left behind, the ones who stay. For Akaashi. Now available to read in Portuguese! https://my.w.tt/GgVJWW5nVbb Now available to read in Spanish! https://www.wattpad.com/story/263165181?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=sallyhopewrites&wp_originator=z0AFrHpAAC8sFf7fXra7mKqHtY%2F9c6s1ovkkyxp241U2I4ET%2FMTzyovWwr3vAtFjG6OTz6uXyD6xjTEuH0iXOtkTsL93mowLuREchpsMZCkB6iesq17mFyfykiPVhX%2BvConcluída
she was in her first life a pampered princess , spoiled,white tea and bitchy girl , she just thought that acting pitifully would give her the whole world . But she was wrong getting infatuated with a man who with his companions disdained her ,they were interested in Yu Luo. She lose her cultivation,her position in the family and died pitifully learning she was an orphan . She reached modern earth world , in the body of an orphan girl promising to be strong ,she became a doctor to save lives and also as a spy to save people , she went on board abroad for an operation for a child, unfortunately there was a terrorist group who attacked ,she thought of the end ,but she came back to her previous world , to her shocking surprise she got a space inside that space a woman who is a dragon who has a multi attribute cultivator who want to make her inherit from her, the same space has been collecting over stuff from two worlds ,ten powerful contracted beast ,a control over all elements even those forgotten in the sea of history plus a master of meta psychic ,having the Ancestor like a second father,atonishing background. Fuck off love ,all what she wants now is to protect her loved ones and herself,live well and a fulfilling, give life to a super kingdom where all can achieve their dreams and goals . She in all cases isn't interested in love but suddenly it was as if the world became crazy and strange as she tried to stay away,her big brother became more protective ,his friends wanted to pamper her,then the greatest apothecary of the moment asked her to call him Uncle and then the guy who was her Master in her past life who never really cared about her and used her as a stepping stone for the path of his foster girl suddenly became obsessed with her, pursued and hunted her even to the point of threatening to cage her if she runs away. But our heroine is feisty,tough,bold and mighty she'll resists his antics. So he who loved her to obsession and lost his opportunity tries now
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