I once got very close | by Dee. B

Guilt.
Something that eats you out alive.

Everyone has something they feel guilty about, and Kyle Selwood sure did.
It poisoned his days, haunted his nights.
Because he did everything right,
Smiled every time he had to,
Always knew what to say,
What to do,
Except once.

His days were repetitive, always the same- never ending. His life was written before he was even born, forced to live with the person who ruined it before it could even start.
That was until she came into it and threw the possibility of a change, something comfortable, safe, and happy.
If life was on his side.

Guilt.
Guilt on an empty stomach.

You don't believe in getting better when you keep getting worse.
Especially if you find comfort in that sickness.
Especially if being sick is the only way you know how to breathe.
We tend to hide in our coping mechanisms, think they're a problem - when in fact, that's how we've been dealing with our actual problem.

Sick of Carrying the weight of a friendship betrayal, she changed schools, hoping for a new beginning.
Hoping this time, things were going to get better.
She worked so hard on building a wall of safety, a wall that no one would be able to break. She would be safe. Immune to ever being hurt by anyone again.

But when she meets his blue eyes -eyes she was afraid could read what she tried so hard to hide- her wall is threatened to crumble.

She has to learn how to breath again, this time, without hurting herself in the process,
She has to learn how to let him in, if he deserves it,
And maybe this time,
She'd finally be a little bit close to getting everything she ever wanted.
So close.

!!TW!! : Ed, abuse, death. Harm
so please, if you feel like you might get triggered, don't read it.