Sorry I'm an Idiot (and You're My Wife)

📢 Final polished copy now on Kindle pre-order! Releases Oct 1st, 2025 (paperback soon!) 📖✨

Emily Carter thought she had it all - a husband, a home in LA, and a hilarious three-year-old son. Then she walked into her guest room and found Jake naked with his assistant.

Now Emily's out for answers (and a little revenge), armed with sarcasm, a "stupid evidence folder," and Ollie, her toddler sidekick who blurts out every secret he overhears. Jake might think he can win her back with roses, date nights, or karaoke ballads, but Ollie's truth bombs - and Emily's razor-sharp wit - prove otherwise.

This isn't just a story about betrayal. It's a romantic comedy about strength, second chances, and the hilarious honesty of kids who always say the quiet part out loud. Because in Emily's world, one thing's certain: Memily always wins, and Ollie always gets his nuggies.

As for the handful shouting "AI wrote this!" - kindly fuck off. I know it's easier to assume a robot is behind my work than to admit a human being out here with a job, a family, and zero sleep is still more creative than you. But trust me: this mess, this madness, this weird blend of comedy and heartbreak? 100% human-powered.

If AI ever learns how to write Wattpad stories while half-laughing, half-crying over its own characters, then maybe I'll worry. Until then, take a seat.