My Shadow and Me
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I grew up thinking that I didn't need love. That I was tough, independent, and had a heart of ice.
However, it wasn't until I met my Twin Flame and went through my spiritual awakening that I finally realized the truth. During the biggest tower moment of my life, it dawned on me that it wasn't because I was "tough" and "couldn't" feel love, but in fact, it was because I was a coward and had been subconsciously picking men I knew I wouldn't fall in love with....The foundation that I had built for myself all these decades of believing I was capable of turning my feelings off came crumbling down. I wasn't strong at all. I was weak and knew I couldn't handle love. My heart has never been whole for a very long time. It has been broken and stomped on at the age of six-year-old. My inner child had to protect what was left of the fragile pieces.
These are my experiences and lessons I've learned, once I truly opened my eyes. From self-acceptance to self-healing, and self-love, it was never about fixing myself. What I needed to do was learn to live with my past and my darkness. Only when I can live in the light with my shadow hand-in-hand can I really understand the meaning of unconditional love. Only then did I finally realize who the love of my life truly was.
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Reset
Content Warning: This story contains themes of abuse, mental illness, blood, and drug use. Reader discretion is advised. If any of this feels familiar or personal, please know you're not alone. Feeling overwhelmed or emotional doesn't make you weak-it makes you human. If you're going through something and don't have anyone to talk to, you can always message me. My DMs are open on Instagram @thegoob_first. No judgment. Just someone who's willing to listen. ⸻ People say it gets better. That pain is temporary. That if you just "hold on," things will change. But I've been holding on so tight my hands are bleeding, and nothing's changed- except me. I'm thirteen, and I'm already tired. Not just sleepy. I mean tired in my bones. Tired of pretending school matters. Tired of dodging fists and fake smiles. Tired of being the leftover twin. Kevin was the one people loved. The loud one. The brave one. He used to say we were two halves of the same storm. But he's gone. Drowned in a river we weren't supposed to be near. And I'm still here. Alone. Sometimes I wonder if the wrong twin died. And some days, I know it. My mom won't look at me the same. My dad's fists speak louder than his words. And me? I gave up a long time ago. So I did what you're not supposed to do. I ended it. Only-I didn't. Because I woke up. Again. Same day. Same weight in my chest. Same pain. Now I can't even die right. But then I met her. Skye. And suddenly, dying isn't the hardest part anymore. Living is.Concluida
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Love In The Shadow (18+ | Litmatch Lovestory)
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Evolution
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I was only nine when my life changed forever. I was sold like an object; all of my cries were ignored as if they meant nothing. I meant nothing. That night, I learned that in this world, I had no value -- not as a child and not as human as well. So, I learned to survive on my own. Later years were even cruel. I was sold and tossed from one hand to another. I was taught to obey, to smile when I wanted to cry, to bury my pain deep inside. Love? Happiness? Those were words that didn't exist in my world. All I knew was how to survive. And when I lost all of my hopes of survival as well, he came. He didn't just look at me, he saw me. He made me feel something I never felt before. I saw a spark of hope in him, but hope is dangerous. I am dangerous and not something meant for love. I want him to stay away from me because I don't want him to burn with me in the same fire. I need him to stop and save himself from this forbidden love. I can never be his and person like him are not meant to be mine. I am Sandhya and this is my story of Love and Freedom from those who call themselves my master.
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"𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫." [Slow update] They say love feels like sunlight after winter. But no one warns you - sometimes, it burns. Sometimes, it scars. I never asked for obsession, for manipulation, or for love that feels like poison. He came like wildfire - raw, relentless, unapologetic. My first. My beautiful mistake. He was dangerous in the most beautiful way. Gentle with me, brutal with the world. Every moment with him was comfort laced with chaos. His love? Honey laced with venom - sweet, addicting, and lethal. He didn't cross lines. He erased them. In his madness, I mistook devotion. In cruelty, I saw protection. How do you run from someone who'd bleed to keep you breathing? He saw the cracks no one else noticed. Whispered promises in the dark. And a part of me clung to them. In his arms, the world ceased to exist. But the next storm didn't come with fire. It came in silence. He arrived like a shadow - watching, waiting, suffocating. He didn't touch me - not yet. But I felt him, like smoke in my lungs. He studied me. Then he moved. And when he did, everything changed. He didn't want to love me. He wanted to rewrite me. His silence screamed louder than words. He wanted me to destroy myself for him. Now, I'm torn between two kinds of insanity: One who would ruin the world to protect me. Another who would ruin me to make me his world. And I can't tell the difference anymore. They circle me like wolves, each calling it love. But love was never meant to feel like this. Was it? I used to believe love was a gift. Now I know - it's a gamble. A bloody one. And in this game of obsession and betrayal, I'm no longer sure who the real villain is. Because when both players would kill you for love... What does that make you?
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