The Art Of Pretending To Care

In this chapter, David and Pat attend another dreaded "parent-teacher" style conference at the celebrity high school, dragged into the role of guardians for Tom and Bill. David, uptight and quick to frustration, treats the whole thing like a corporate meeting-ready with notes, sharp comments, and an exaggerated sense of responsibility. Pat, on the other hand, coasts through the entire ordeal with snacks, half-jokes, and his trademark indifference, making it painfully obvious he doesn't care but is there out of loyalty. David does his best to nod, sigh, and look like he's the picture of professionalism, all while barely holding it together. Pat plays the role of comic relief, chiming in with "helpful" comments that only make David's blood boil.

By the end, it's clear that the real "art" isn't parenting at all-it's David trying to pretend he cares in front of authority figures, while Pat unapologetically doesn't bother to.