Hiraeth

Hiraeth (Welsh) -
homesickness
a deep, bittersweet feeling of longing and nostalgia that goes beyond simply missing a place or person.

A journal of some sort, because I don't have friends to talk to.

It encompasses a sense of melancholy and wistfulness for a past that can't be recaptured.
''Hiraeth gives a name to that sense of incompleteness you feel when you're acutely aware of something missing in your life. Something you've left behind in the past - a home, a sense of feeling at home in yourself, an out-grown dream - or maybe an ideal you've invented that can never be realised, or a hope that perpetually eludes you as the future unfolds. At its core, hiraeth boils down to an awareness of the presence of absence, kindling a feeling in which pain and joy are braided too tightly to untangle.''