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The life of a book nerd

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Reads 31
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Parts 3
Time <5 mins

awkward books death nerd reading suicide

There are so many things that could run through your head when you hear 'book nerd'. You could think of books, or fangirling all over Tumblr, or whatever it is that you to get over the previous books you read because on some level it's traumatizing in the best possible way.

This book isn't about what it's like to be a book nerd even though you will pick that up. It's about real people and real problems, and if that's not your thing then I understand.

But keep in mind that this is not a happy book. By any means. There is suicidal  thoughts. So no, not happy.

Most of this book is fiction, the characters are real people with different names. So no need to freak out and call someone telling me I need help. I promise you most of it is fiction.

And May the odds be ever in your favor.All Rights Reserved

awkward books death nerd reading suicide

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Afterlife by amazing_waffles

Dead is not all rainbows and butterflies. It's not 'better than living'. You are not 'free' or 'better off'. You're just not. So what is it like? Think of it as the ultimate game of tag. One Grim Reaper after another, and if you're caught, you die...again. But what if you suddenly fall head over heels for someone who hates you? What if he tries to kill you? What if you are partnered with him to capture a serial killer? I'd like to know the answers to those questions too. Maybe I'll find some light in all this darkness. Or, maybe, nothing will turn out the way I want. Maybe I'll be killed. Maybe I'll die again. Maybe I'll be rejected. Maybe it isn't such a good idea to be so optimistic sometimes because I'm sure nothing will turn out the way I want.

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ by ZaynismRules

***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

When She Was Gone by cxrucio

"Your Padawan was weak, like you. So I killed her," said the Togruta, circling Anakin's interrogation chair. Anakin finally looked at her in disbelief and horror, tears in his eyes. He stared into hers, begging them to return to ocean blue. But it was no use. This girl may have looked like Ahsoka, but she was not his Padawan any longer. The Dark Side had truly taken her. ~~~ In this galaxy, Palpatine was killed in a speeder accident when he was a boy, and never rose to power. Another Dark Lord created Order 66, but was more interested in simply killing the Jedi quickly and efficiently. He wasn't looking for an apprentice. In this galaxy, Anakin never went to the Dark Side. In this galaxy, Padmé survived. In this galaxy, the Skywalker family lives together, far from harm's way, where they can raise their children in peace. In this galaxy, Ahsoka Tano has been dead for eleven years. Or so Anakin Skywalker thinks. ~ I obviously do not own Disney nor any parts of Star Wars, the only things that are mine are any non-canon characters made by me. Highest ranking: #1 in Ahsoka (it was only for like a week but I was very happy) and #1 in anidala

Feel ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo ---- [BOOK 2] by wasteofspace4150

***READ 'NUMB' FIRST (ON MY PROFILE)*** Damn it Todoroki What the fuck did you do? Why the fuck did you do this to me? Why the fuck didn't you come back? You knew I never meant to hurt you I know You know that And yet You haven't come back It's been nearly a week I can't I can't handle this My intentions at the start were to help you And then part ways with you To focus on my career But I got attached And now I never want you to leave "I knew this would happen." I muttered angrily, grunting in pain as I kept punching. "I knew as soon as you got better." My eyes teared up a bit, but I convinced myself it was anger. "You wouldn't need me anymore." I said through grinding teeth. "And now you don't need me anymore." I hit it again, and a sharp, burning pain shot up my arm. I stumbled back and yelled in pain. I sat on the ground and stared at the floor, crying and grinding my teeth. You always hated when I'd push myself too much And even after everything No matter how hard I try I'm still a failure I always fail in the end I always fall short It's never enough Nothing I ever do Is enough to come out on top It used to be easy I was just naturally good Comfortable at the top And now I'm struggling just to stay in the running I stood up and walked to the locker room, slamming the door open and closed. I stood in front of the mirror with my hands on both sides of the sink, staring at my reflection. I was a mess. My eyes were red from my tears and my expression was exhausted and distressed. My face was tear-stained and I was light headed. Just completely out of it. I had bags under my eyes from stress filled days and sleepless nights, an obvious lack of rest. No wonder Aizawa confronted me I look like hell I feel like hell Fuck This is hell

The Unchronicled Adventures of Ahsoka Tano, Book One by shanSWfan

To be read as the first book in the series. Many people have wondered what happened to Ahsoka Tano, padawan to Anakin Skywalker, after she left the Jedi Order. Over the summer of 2014, I decided to start writing a story that was woven into the plot lines of both the Star Wars movies and the TV series. In the first book in my own ongoing series, I have explored what adventures Ahsoka might have gone on, and what old romantic attractions could have led to. \\ Also in this series: \\ Book One: Search Book Two: Disturbance Book Three: Empire Book Four: Journey Book Five: Master Book Six: Return Book Seven: Ascension Book Eight: Reborn Book Nine: Dissent Book Ten: Eventide Vode An || A UAAT Story Transcending Bonds (COMING SOON) Untitled sequel trilogy (COMING SOON)

Ahsoka One Shots by anxiety_banana

A series following Ahsoka during her time at the Jedi temple. Basically just family fluff and hurt/comfort. Her training goes beyond the field, showing the behind the scenes of her life, cute family stories, the sort of lessons Anakin might have taught, along with other in the field missions and insights into what her personal struggles might have been. Please keep comments clean on any of my books Cover by me, but i kinda just copied and pasted my text from the last cover to this clip from s7 so idk Occasional Nyxsoka shipping, but it's labeled beforehand if you want to skip those chapters Some chapters are mature, but easily avoided and labeled with trigger warnings beforehand. I do not own Star Wars or any of the characters unless they are outside the Star Wars canon Disclaimer! If you're reading this on a platform other than Wattpad, you're very likely to be at risk for a malware attack. If you want to read this story in it's original, safe, version, please head over to Wattpad under anxiety_banana #1 in lesson 4/12/21 #1 in training 5/12/21 #2 in backstory 6/28/21

That Sadistic Nerd (GXG) by cerealness

This is a girl x girl book so if you're a homophobe then- 1) GET OFF MY PAGE. 2)YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE *hisses and bares non existent fangs* 3) yes I can totally count thank you! Just adding this bit because honestly homophobia is wrong. ~::::::/\/\/\LOVE IS LOVE/\/\/\::::::~ This is a pg book! So don worry frwiend Don worry about it! *le YouTube reference used* (XD I'm friggin nerdy so if ya got a problem about it shoo shoo! U no welcome on dis page!)

Depressing Short Stories by Fiction_escapade

Just bunch of depressing short stories so read at your own risk. Well, not all of them are. "You can't save everyone, you know? And some of them don't want to be saved." #316 in short story! People have told me they cried while reading this so I don't know if it's that good.

Demons [a. s II] by hpscardigan

It was said before...dark times approach as the sun and the moon go by, and it was true. Everyone that could, as well as everyone that couldn't, were able to feel it somehow. That darkness felt like a knot in the throat, a tickle in the pit of the stomach, a shiver in the bones...and it felt closer. The Clone Wars continued to escalate and they seemed to have no end, our heroes grew tired everyday and wondered if this could be called "a life" anymore; their happiness seemed to last merely seconds, specially since the team no longer is what it once was. However, not everything is sadness, not everything is sorrow. There's also love, there's also happiness, and most importantly, there's hope. Hope that everything will get better, hope that there could be a bright future for the Galaxy and it's inhabitants. The questions that remained were if this light could defeat the darkness, if good could overcome evil, if people could remain happy, if love was really the strongest power, if angels could turn into demons and if those angels could defeat demons or if demons could turn back into angels. There's only one way to find out, by travelling through the second part of this story. We'll watch the Battle of the Heroes, we'll listen to the Duel of the Fates and we'll see if there's a New Hope. We'll see if good prevails or if it is defeated by the shadows once and for all. Only love and death are the change of it all. i do not own the STAR WARS cinematic universe nor its characters besides Allana Naberrie. ALL RIGHTS TO DISNEY & LUCASFILM anakin skywalker x o. c HIGHEST RANKINGS: • #2 in allana • #5 in sith lord

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Slide 1 of 9

Afterlife cover

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ cover

When She Was Gone cover

Feel ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo ---- [BOOK 2] cover

The Unchronicled Adventures of Ahsoka Tano, Book One cover

Ahsoka One Shots cover

That Sadistic Nerd (GXG) cover

Depressing Short Stories cover

Demons [a. s II] cover

Afterlife

Dead is not all rainbows and butterflies. It's not 'better than living'. You are not 'free' or 'better off'. You're just not. So what is it like? Think of it as the ultimate game of tag. One Grim Reaper after another, and if you're caught, you die...again. But what if you suddenly fall head over heels for someone who hates you? What if he tries to kill you? What if you are partnered with him to capture a serial killer? I'd like to know the answers to those questions too. Maybe I'll find some light in all this darkness. Or, maybe, nothing will turn out the way I want. Maybe I'll be killed. Maybe I'll die again. Maybe I'll be rejected. Maybe it isn't such a good idea to be so optimistic sometimes because I'm sure nothing will turn out the way I want.