Trepidation

"I lied, Lila."

Zayne's voice was fragile, weak. Pupils blown, he looked lost. It was the first time I'd ever truly seen him--fully unmasked. I crouched, sliding his bag away so he couldn't reach for it again.

"A-About?"

My stutter was prominent, the pit in my stomach gnawing at my gut. He shook his head, hands still gripping his hair, blood dripping delicately onto the floor.

"I said that your anxiety was j-just... the f-fear of losing control, right?"

I nodded, still uneasy. He gasped for air intermittently.

"I-I also said that giving up control... was the m-most freeing feeling in the world. R-Right?

His hands found the inside of his jacket.

"Where are you going with this?" I asked, carefully inching closer to him. He was defensive--skittish.

"I-It's how I've always thought. M-My sanity depended on it. That way I could f-free my mind." He said, dropping his head down, hair now covering his face. "But it's all a lie."

"What makes you think that?" I asked, trying to get a sense of what might be going on inside of his head. My heartbeat pulsed throughout my entire body--unsettled. I'd never seen him like this.

"B-Because I can't control it anymore." He stuttered, his voice breaking with each syllable.

"Control what?"

He shook his head back and forth, desperately pounding his fist into his skull. He grunted and heaved, muttering frantically under his breath.

"Zayne-"

"Not having control... it's t-terrifying... Lila, I'm so scared... I-It won't stop..." His eyes grew frantic, and he sniffled. "Th-They're haunting me..."

His voice cracked higher--like a child trembling at the center of a battlefield. I stepped closer, trying to pull his fist away. He scrambled to his feet, pushing past me and exiting the camper. Now panicking, I followed him.

A loud, metallic click cut through the air, interrupting his nonsensical rambling. I tried to call out to him again, but my lungs strangled me from the inside--body now paralyzed.

A gun trembled in his hands.