I just blinked
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The human mind develops and soaks in information from books, media, conversations, etc. etc. Some things we forget as the days months and years go on. But trauma is a bit different. I am no specialist but I know trauma.
I am 30, and have blacked out childhood years. I also have flashbacks about my nightmares. Flashbacks because I blink and I am there. 2-4 years old I don't even know, stepdads hand pressed against the bottom corner of the bedroom door. Me laying flat, pants and underwear down, he's licking me. The feeling of being scared my mom would come in and see us.
Then I blink again, Im 30. Eating in the dining room. Sicking with my daughter in my lap. I blink...
Same room, same stepdad, same fear. This time I am sitting in his lap facing him. My brothers crib is against the bathroom door where my mom is taking a shower. I don't realize he is having me grind against him. I think I am spending time with my dad. As a 2-4 year old would. Then I blink again.
Im back at 30 years old. Walking around the grocery store. Or Im laying in bed with my partner. Frozen. In shock. In fear. Then I blink again.
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nightmareonelmstreet
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